ATSUI! Hot Spring Shinobi
by Gaara-no-Jo
Summary: Team 7 gets invited to a hot spring resort and they get to bring whoever they want. Kakashi disappears to ask That's a secret. Naruto invites the Sand Siblings? Who else will get invited and what will happen? Completed.
1. An offer they can't refuse!

T.T My long story is getting no love. I feel sorrowful sorekara I write happy funny story! You all love the happy times. I present more gratuitous Gaara.

Wooow, I got a bad review but in an icy kind of way it made sense soooo, all previous Japanese is replaced. If anything, it'll make it quicker to read.

Edit: I all kinds of spellchecked this.

((oo))

Team Seven was stood outside of a large mansion with an overweight elderly woman. She was dressed in rugged clothes, like a cowboy or something, a far cry from her delicate daughter, by whom she was standing. Their orders were to escort Amano Yukiko from her ranch to Konoha. It was a simple C rank mission and it went as smoothly as any mission could. The worst they encountered were a few giant tigers and Naruto catching diarrhea after eating some of Sasuke's cooking.

"Thanks for the service, you guys. I'm muchly pleased with the service." She ruffled Sasuke's hair with her meaty hand. The Uchiha looked irritated.

Kakashi smiled. "Not a problem. It's our job after all."

Yukiko's daughter, Hanako, bowed demurely. "Please if there is anyway we could repay you properly..."

"No, no. We get paid by the Hoka-"

"RAMEN! I want an all you can eat from Ichiraku!" Naruto exclaimed. Sakura promptly kicked him to the ground.

After gaining her composure she smiled and bowed back to Hanako. "Please no thank you. We couldn't accept any gifts."

Yukiko pulled Sasuke under her arm and gave him a noogie. "You gotta be kidding. You guys were great. I gotta give you something."

The poor Uchiha's face was buried under her armpit, a most unpleasant place to be sure. He struggled with all of his might to get free but he was quickly running out of air.

Kakashi scratched his cheek and looked upwards. "Well, if you insist, I'm sure we could..." Sasuke couldn't hold his breath anymore and inhaled. The strength of her body order almost knocked him out completely. He went limp. "Uhh...could you let Sasuke go, I think he's not feeling well."

"Hm?" Yukiko let him go and gave him a look. His head lolled to one side, his eyes glazed. "More meat. That's what the boy needs and a good trip to...That's it!" she exclaimed pounding her fist into her hand. Sasuke wobbled over to his team. Naruto looked at him with confusion. "You all can go to Sauna and take a break at my sister's hot spring inn. Do your body good. Shoot! Ya'll can bring some of your friends, too."

Naruto balled up his fist in anticipation. "Really? Really?!" Yukiko and Hanako bothed nodded with big smiles on their faces. "WAHOO!" The young shinobi jumped into the air.

Sakura bowed. "Thank you so much." But on the inside...**Hell YEAH!! I'll show Sasuke my hot body and he'll definitely fall in love!** She giggled inwardly at this thought, shooting the still dazed Uchiha a shy glance.

Their sensei seemed to consider this. _ Maybe I could invite Kurenai..._ He formed a mental image of a half drunk Kurenai coming on to him in the middle of a steamy onsen. "Sounds like a great chance to relax. We'll take it."

That done the team headed out. Sasuke, when he regained coherency also agreed that the hot spring sounded like a great idea. "There's no one in particular that I'd want to take though."

Sakura clasped her hands behind her back, "Well, we could ask Ino." The inner Sakura mentally punched her in the jaw. ** BaaaKAAAAA!** "Oh...uh...she's probably working."

The usually loud Naruto seemed to be thinking carefully over who to take. He looked down the street and saw Tsunade walking with the Sand Siblings and talking to Temari. Kankurou and Gaara both looked bored, indicating that the conversation involved things that only girls found interesting or understood.

A light bulb went on in blonde's brain. "OY!!" he screamed down the street. He waved frantically. "TSUNADE OBAASAN! GAARA!"

"Moron," muttered Sasuke. "You't don't have to be so loud." Naruto gave him a filthy look.

When the Fifth Hokage approached he proceeded to explain the situation to her. "We took Yukiko to her daughter's like she wanted to and she's letting us go to her sister's hot spring resort for free! She said we could take anyone we want with us! Cool, huh!"

Tsunade blinked then grinned slyly. "So you're asking me right?"

Naruto's face changed immediately from joy to solemn annoyance. "No. I don't want to see what happens to that wrinkly body of yours when it soaks in the water too long."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" She put him in a headlock. It wasn't long before he began to turn red. "WHY DID YOU TELL ME IF YOU WEREN'T ASKING?! HUH?! I'M YOUR HOKAGE YOU SHOULD BE HONORED TO TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

"Ack...I wa...want to...take them!" He pointed to Gaara. Tsunade stopped choking him and looked at the Sand Siblings. Temari looked beside herself with joy. But Kankurou and Gaara looked genuinely surprised.

Gaara looked at Sasuke. They weren't anywhere close to being friends but... the Uchiha offered no answers to whether or not he cared. "I've never been to a hot spring before," he said flatly.

Temari took his shoulders. "It's a lot of fun. You get free food and drinks and the whole purpose is to relax. I haven't been to one since I was little."

Sakura smiled. "We still have other people to invite. Should I invite Shikamaru?" The older girl turned red from head to foot. Kankurou blinked.

"Ah...ah...ah! Oh, well that's really up to you! Hahaha!" Temari fidgeted nervously. "Hahahahaha!"

_What's so funny?_, Kankurou wondered giving his sister a wierded out look.

Kakashi shrugged. "Well, you guys go ahead and look for others. I have to go save a burning orphanage."

"YEAH RIGHT!" called out Naruto and Sakura but Kakashi was already gone.

Naruto turned to his teammates. "All right! Next up..."

At the Nara estate...

"Is Shikamaru home?" Naruto asked the stern looking woman at the door.

Mrs. Nara sighed and turned slightly. "Shikamaru it's for you." She walked way without a word.

In a few seconds, the lazy eyed chounin appeared. "Hn? What do you guys want?"

"You want to go with us to Sauna! We're getting to go to a cool hot spring resort," explained Naruto exuberantly.

Shikamaru groaned and seemed to think. _Do I really want to spend almost a week with this guy? _ He looked at Naruto then Sasuke. _And then listen to these two fight?_ He looked at Sakura. _Then watch her swoon like a moron over that Uchiha guy._ He looked over to Gaara and Kankurou, who had followed. _ Are they going too? . This is going to be so troublesome..._ He sighed deeply. "I really don't..." Wait, Gaara and Kankurou? He took another look. Temari was blushing profusely and swirling the dirt with her toe. He green eyes shifted his way. Instant sparkles went off in the young Nara's head. All he saw was her and a cloudy background where she sparkled like a star. He coughed. "Sure, I don't care." He and Temari refused to make direct eye contact.

"YES!" Naruto raised a triumphant fist. "All right! Next up..."

At the Hyuuga Estate...

Neji leaned against a battered training pole. "I don't really do hot springs. I can't say I've been but they sound like a waste of time."

Naruto groaned. "Even if Ten-Ten is going?" Sakura said with a grin. This cause the Hyuuga to stiffen. She knew all the hottest couples in Konoha. The reasons were simple. One, she's a girl. A single lady has to know who is taken, on reserve, or up for grabs, even if he's as distasteful as Rock Lee. Two, she was a kunoichi, she had to collect such exclusive information on a daily basis. What better way to practice than to gossip.

Neji coughed turned his back. "... ... I don't care if Ten-ten goes or not but I suppose if it served no purpose then it would at least strengthen the bonds of our team..." He coughed again.

Naruto looked at Hinata, who had yet to answer. "Hinata-chan?" She shook a little. His eyes were on her. He wanted her to go with him to a hot spring. She blushed visibly.

"Ah...ah...if...if...Neji is...going then..." she stammered. She twiddled with her fingers. What should she say? What should she do? He...He was looking at her! "I...I...I want to go too!"

This caused the blonde shinobi to smile. "WOO! We got more people! Next!!!"

At the park...

Kakashi sighed. Kurenai was no where to be found. Chances were that she was off on a mission. That meant that he couldn't take her to the hot spring. That meant he couldn't... He looked at his book of "Icha-Icha Paradise". "Ah, man," he groaned with his shoulders slumped.

"KAKASHI!" screamed a familiar voice.

"And my day got worse. How ironic," he mused.

Maito Gai saundered up to him with his prize student, Rock Lee following behind him. The extravagant jounin pointed at his eternal rival. "I have come to challenge you."

"What else is new?"

This caught Gai off guard. "Hmmmmmm? You look more apathetic than usual." He bent over to look face to face at Kakashi. He closed his eyes knowingly. "I know what this look is..."

"What is is, Gai-sensei? Is he sick?" Lee inquired anxiously.

"YES! The most terribly sickness of all my student..." Gai clenched his fists shut. "Sickness of the heart!!!" Kakashi gave an exasperated look and sweated. Gai was serious and that's why it was disturbing.

Lee regarded Kakashi has his sensei ranted on about love. He walked over. "Kakashi-sensei..."

"Hm?"

"I think I may understand how you feel. Even though I do not know who she is, I think that no matter what you should without fail pursue your heart's dream. That is my romantic way of the ninja." He gave the patented thumbs up to Kakashi.

"LEE!" Gai wailed, rearing back. He was about to punch Lee for not listening to his burning speech about love when Kakashi caught his fist.

"As much as I know I'm going to regret at least half of this request... Gai, Lee. How would you two like to go to a hot spring resort with my team and some friends?" The two wierd eyed shinobi looked dumbfounded. Kakashi smiled.


	2. Arriving at Sauna

Wow that first chapter needs a rewrite in the worst way. I'll get on that. Thanks to those that have commented! Enjoy and keep doing that thing where you comment because it's cool. Oh and anyone that can place the Waffles and Neji connection gets points from me. Author and my ex-roommate excluded from this competition! You know who you are!

* * *

The young shinobi and the two jounin teachers stood in front of a large building set in the heart of a mountain. There were many people going and in and out of the resort, all of them smiling. 

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto piped up, nudging Kakashi in his side, "this place is really popular, isn't it. That must mean that it's really good."

The silver-haired teacher nodded. "They say the waters of this resort have healing powers. Some say they're even a natural aphrodisiac."

At this Sakura and Temari stood up straight. Their eyes glimmered at the prospects.

_Sakura, cooed Sasuke drawing closer to her, you're the most beautiful girl in all of Konoha. Please say you'll go out with me._ Sakura swooned but quickly regained her composure though her cheeks were flushed. She glanced at Sasuke, who looked bored.

_Temari, whispered Shikamaru, I've never met a stronger and more gorgeous woman before. I'm unworthy of such grace. Join me as we stare at the clouds. _Temari grinned from ear to ear and fidgeted gleefully. Kankurou looked at her like she was diseased. Gaara wasn't paying attention to his love-struck older sibling.

An older woman came out and shook Kakashi's hand. "You must be the ninja that my sister talked about. I've prepared three rooms for you. One for the girls, one for the boys, and a separate one for you, the chaperones."

Gai bowed deeply. "Thank you so much! Your establishment is the best in all fire country, I hear." He smiled a glimmering smile and the old lady blushed.

"Oh goodness, what a dashing young man!" The young ninja looked aghast. Did the old bat know what she was talking about.

Naruto leaned over to Sasuke. "She must be blind." Sasuke nodded in agreement.

With that, the resort owner lead them into the inn and showed them too their rooms. They were luxurious. Large screen TV, couch, floor pillows, and an excellent view of the mountains outside. Ten-ten immediately plopped down on a floor pillow. "Hey, how about after this we hit the springs?!"

Hinata nodded. "I'd like to relax too. It was such a long trip to get here."

"I'll provide you with towels and soap shortly," said the old woman. "Next I'll take you boys to your rooms."

Once they arrived, Naruto turned the TV onto a comedy and sat on the couch. Neji and Shikamaru took their place by the windows to take in the scenery, leaving Kankurou and Lee to decide on something to do.

"I hope this place as a training facility. While it's good to relax we can't let our bodies go out of shape," he stated firmly.

Kankurou went over to the fridge and opened. "Ugh, nothing. We gotta order something or I'm going to die of starvation."

Gaara was leaning against the wall next to Sasuke. "..." But that was classic Gaara-Sasuke dialogue.

Naruto's spikey blond head perked up. "Hey, since the girls are going down to the springs, we should go to! I want to go into the electric spring."

"Yeah, just was we need, an electrocuted Naruto. You're wierd enough, thank you," Shikamaru said without looking away from window.

"Indeed, but I know how Naruto feels. There are over 30 different springs here. I'd like to try them all," agreed Lee. The two smiled at each other. It was good that _someone_ understood him, Naruto thought.

Sasuke shrugged and sank into a plush blue pillow on the floor. "I just want to take nap. Wake me when we're going." He shut his eyes. Gaara stared at him.

Kankurou stood up. "Well, I'm going to check out the playing field," he said with a grin. "There's going to be a lot of opportunity to spy on the pretty girls here. I just want to scope out the choices."

"Pervert..." Naruto grumbled at him.

"Oh, so you don't want to see Sakura naked?" Both Rock Lee and Naruto went blood red. "Heh. That's what I thought. I'll be back later." He waved idly and left the room.

Neji sighed and took a seat on the couch. "What is with that guy? His mind is in the sewers." Forgetting himself, Neji looked at Gaara but the red-haired boy was not paying attention it seemed.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Who cares. He's right about one thing. Let's order room service while it's free." He picked up the phone. "What do you guys want?"

"RAMEN!"

"Something healthy. Rice cakes!"

"Waffles."

Sasuke opened his eye. "Pork dumplings"

Shikamaru looked at Gaara. "Hey! Gaara. What do you want?"

Gaara looked around the room and shrugged. "Kankurou likes meat. Get him a steak."

"I didn't ask about him. I asked about you. If he wanted food he should have stuck around."

It was an odd request. Temari usually ordered for him. "Order for me."

Shikamaru sighed and placed their orders. A few minutes later, a waiter came up with a cart full of food. Hungrily, the boys dug in. Gaara stared at his food. "What the hell is this? Snot?"

"Marron Glace."

"I hate marron glace."

"Should have ordered for yourself, then,"was Shikamaru's reply as he bit into his crepe. Gaara sighed and stood from his seat but the shinobi shoved another crepe at him. "I'm not really a mean guy. But as a ninja you shouldn't leave things to others, even if it's just food."

Gaara took the crepe. "A life lesson from someone not even older than me."

"Takes all kinds." The sand ninja shrugged at this and ate by himself near the window.

Meanwhile the girls were digging into ice cream, seated in a circle around the table. They were engaged the the lucrative details of their love lives.

"Weeeeeeell, I mean you wouldn't guess that Shikamaru's my type of guy," Temari began, poking at a chunk of cookie in her carton. "But I guess intellectuals are my kind. Hehehehe...He's so cute with that ponytail..EEEEEE!" She squealed. Her eyes went wide when she realized that such a feminine noise came from her. She cleared her throat. "Uh...brain freeze. I...Um...Ten-tenlikesNeji." She shoved a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and looked at the ceiling.

Ten-ten gave her a dubious look. "You're not fooling anyone but anyway. I don't know if I _like_ Neji. I just like well..." She thought for a moment. "Well...I don't know."

"Do your heart beat fast when he looks at you?" Sakura asked.

"Well..."

"Do you want to run your fingers through his hair?" Temari asked?

"Well..."

"Do you want him to...um...notice you?" Hinata added timidly.

"... ... Okay, I like Neji," Ten-ten answered defeated. "But I'm not his type. He's so...dignified."

Hinata looked at the older girls sad expression. She knew what that feeling was like. Unrequited love... "He sleeps with his baby blanket." The room went quiet. "It's his prized possession." Jaws dropped. "Don't tell him. He'll kill me."

Sakura shook her head to clear it of the image of a sleeping Neji cuddling a pastel blue blanket. "Wow. Well what about me! No one's asked about me?"

"You like Sasuke." They all chimed.

"No secret there."

"Every girl in Konoha likes Sasuke."

"Hell, who wouldn't he's hot...I mean, but not as hot as Shika." Sakura took a bite of ice cream deflated. Was she that obvious. There was silence for a moment as they ate. Sakura looked at the Hyuuga beside of her. "Heeeeeeeeey...Hinata..."

The girl almost choked on her vanilla bean ice cream. Four pairs of hawkish eyes descended on her. She tried to sink into the floor but they kept staring.

"Come one, Hinata," cooed Temari. "You can tell us."

Ten-ten grinned evilly. "I bet I know who it is...Heh...heheheh..."

Sakura placed her spoon under Hinat's chin like a dagger. "Talk."

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...um...I..."

"Yeeeeeeeessss?" they all intoned.

"I like..."

"Hmmmmmmmm?"

"Na...na..."

"Spit it out!" Temari snapped eagerly. "Na-- who?"

Sakura cackled. "Isn't it obvious? Who's the only Na-something we know. "

Hinata pulled an extra pillow over her face. There was a collective squeal.

Ten-ten hugged her. "HOW CUTE! Someone likes that moron!"

"Naruto-kun is not a moron," Hinata defended. "He's a very kind person."

Temari nodded. "He's pretty good. Nice. Strong, too. ... ... ... Naruto naked in a hot spring."

Hinata went pale...the red...the pale again.

"That was mean Temari," Sakura scolded.

"I know. I'm sorry...Sasuke naked in a hot spring." Sakura went blood red. Inner Sakura was drooling.

"Shikamaru naked in a hot spring," retaliated Ten-ten.

"Been there done that..." sighed Temari. "But only in my dreams." There was silence then five sighs of despair. "We need more ice cream."


	3. Into the Hot Water

Kakashi took a drink of hot tea. He and Gai were seated comfortably in their assigned room playing games. Gai held his hand over his bishop, fingers twitching eagerly. He glanced up at Kakashi but his eternal rival still had the "the girl I like is not here" blues dancing in his eyes. 10 rounds of poker, 1 round of Monopoly, and 3 games of chess hadn't distracted him from Kurenai at all. Gai smiled a little and moved his bishop.

Lazily, Kakashi took the bishop with his knight. "Check," he muttered. His chin was resting in his palm. He looked over to the window. The wind gently blew the leaves and a family of bright red birds were singing at each other. He stared at two and imagined them to be Kurenai's crimson eyes, smiling at him. He sighed heavily.

"Hatake?"

"Hm?" He looked at the board and moved his queen to take one of Gai's pawns. "Checkmate." When he looked back at the window the birds have flew off to another tree. Kakashi could hear Gai resetting the board.

"So..." Gai began, trying to keep his voice controlled and even. "How long have you liked Kurenai?"

"I don't know," Kakashi answered abruptly. Friend and rival could tell that he had his defenses up. It would be hard to glean any information from him. It must have been for some time that he kept his feelings inside. The silver-haired shinobi was a known ladies' man but to have had his heart captured. Gai chuckled at this. "What?"

"Oh... nothing. Just thinking about when we were kids, you and I." He moved a pawn forward. "I always envied you." Gai took a drink of his tea, as well. "You were handsome and talented. So like Sasuke-kun; all the girls drooled over you. It used to piss me off." Kakashi was used to his random flashbacks and just continued to play wordlessly. "Still does. I'm sure Kurenai will come around too."

They continued to play for a few more games before Kakashi announced that he was going to take a walk around the place. Gai nodded and said that he would take a brief nap and maybe join him later. His friend made no comment at this and simply left. Bushy eyebrows pinched together deviously. He reached over and picked up the phone. His fingers flew over the buttons and soon he heard ringing in the earpiece.

"Hello, Iruka here. Can I help you?"

Gai grinned. "Do you know where Kurenai is?"

He could her Iruka tapping his fingers as he thought. "Hmmmm...yes she's in Katahoko. She's-"

"That's near Sauna, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, they get their-"

"About an hour walk?"

Iruka coughed. "Hour walk?? It'd be at least half a day's trip by foot."

Gai gave a hearty laugh. "You forget! I am MAITO G-" He looked at the door and lowered his voice. "I am Maito Gai! I'll get there in an hour or less. Thank you, Iruka. You've been great help." Gai hung up the phone before the teacher could inquire more about his intentions.

Knowing Kurenai, she was likely finished with the mission and gearing up to return to Konoha. If he was swift he would be able catch her and invite her to the spa with them. Kakashi would be forever in his debt. He could see the expression on his rival face. Gai paused. Well, the part of his face that could be seen. But nonetheless this would surely put him ahead even if it did mean he'd likely be disgusted the rest of the trip by their cutesy flirting.

A moment of doubt fluttered through his mind. Did he really want to live with that? "NO!", he admonished himself. " I must rise about my petty jealousies. My friend has the pain of heartbreak and only one thing will heal him and return him to his normal frustratingly hip and irritatingly cool demeanors. And that is a certain genjutsu-using beauty and I, Maito Gai, Star of Konoha, will find her and retrieve her!"

He dashed out the door. Kakashi opened the door to the bathroom and walked into the room. He stared at the door then smiled. "I'm relying on you, Gai." He sat down and smiled to himself. His plan worked perfectly. " I wonder what's on T.V. " He popped on the television and settled the channel to a talk show.

Kankurou returned in time to see Gaara eating on a steak. "You guys ordered food? Is that steak?!" He sat down beside his brother and stole the fork with a plump square of beef at the end from him. "Nnnn, you should have came and got me."

Gaara glared at him and snatched the fork back. "You shouldn't have run off. You'll just have to order something on your own." He opened his mouth to place the food in but his older brother had plucked it from the fork with his fingers and was chewing it with gusto. "... ... Next time...I'm going to stab you."

They glared at each other for a second. Naruto nudged Sasuke. "They kinda remind me of us."

Sasuke nodded. "I'd be Gaara."

Naruto thought about this for a moment. He smiled and looked at his friend. "You wouldn't stab me with a fork, right?" Silence. "Sasuke?" More silence. "Hey, hey...you-"

"Hey, Neji, what's on TV?" Sasuke got up, avoiding the question. He stepped over Naruto, who fell down.

"Sasuke you bastard!"

Gaara, meanwhile cut himself another square of steak, ever mindful of his hungry ogre of a brother hovering over his shoulder. "Get your own."

Kankurou put his head on his brother's shoulder and tried to look pitiful. "Sure looks tasty..."

Gaara shoved him away with his shoulder. "I am going to stab you, Kankurou." He glared at the steak and jammed the fork into the meat. "In. The. Head." He lifted the morsel to his mouth but Kankurou gave an exagerated sneeze. Gaara could see a bubble of spittle on the meat and growled holding it over to his brother.

"Why thank you!"

Shikamaru watched them fight for a while. "Why don't you give him half, Gaara?"

Kankurou barely missed his finger being impaled on a fork. "Yeah, give me half, brat. You got to eat already." Knowing he was outnumbered and that Shikamaru was right, Gaara relinquished half of his steak to his older sibling.

Rock Lee was doing one handed push-ups on the floor with Naruto on his back, keeping count. "After Gaara-kun and Kankurou-san are done with their meal. I suggest we hit the..." He reached his free hand out and grabbed a brochure for the end table. " Fresh Air hot springs. 'Enjoy the beauty and tranquility of nature with our layered springs set in the heart of the mountain.'" He read.

"Sounds fine," Neji agreed. There was unanimous nodding at this suggestion. While Gaara did not rush his meal, Kankurou finished quickly and went to wash his hands in the bathroom. "Hey, Gaara. You didn't stab him in the head."

Gaara paused and looked at Neji. The boy was smiling at him, in a kind of joking manner. The Sand ninja shrugged and finished his last bite. When Kankurou came out of the bathroom room a loud thud and subsequent twang noise made him turn his head. A fork was wobbling just inches from his skull. Neji gave a small laugh. Gaara put his table on the tray as though he had done nothing at all.

Used to this kind of behaviour, Kankurou simply pulled the fork out and put it on the tray as well. "Missed, brat."

"Stop stealing food out of mouth, moron," Gaara hissed back.

Kankurou shoved his hands in his pockets. "You want it back? I'll puke it all up for you."

"You disgust me..." the short boy began icily. "In ways that you will never know."

Shikamaru stepped between them, shoving towels in their arms. "Stop fighting, you two. We're supposed to be relaxing." His towel was draped over his shoulders. "Let's get going. I need some fresh air."

"Woo!" Naruto dashed out the door. Rock Lee gave an exuberant 'OSU!" and followed Naruto. The rest left more calmly, Sasuke locking the door behind them. They admired the murals on the walls of the resorts, Naruto pointing to one of a naked lady. Lee blushed and commented on one of turtles to distract them from the nude.

Once they got to the locker room, they just stood there. Naruto looked at all of them. "Now what?"

"We get undressed," Sasuke answered, hands in pockets. No one moved.

"Draw straws?" Neji offered. Everyone nodded. Shikamaru pulled a piece of paper from his vest and created seven straws from it. Marking one with pen at the bottom. He covered them bottoms of all the straws with his fist and held them out. Everyone drew one.

Shikamaru somehow got the losing straw. "What a moron!" Naruto laughed aloud pointing. "You made the straws and you still lost!"

Shikamaru growled. "Shut up, dead last!" He grumbled and pulled off his vest. He quickly go undressed and wrapped his towel around his waist. "Fine! I'm done." He looked away to hide the fact that he was embarrassed.

Naruto was less fazed and unceremoniously tossed his orange attire to the floor. He stood on a bench, hands on his hips. "HA! I'm not embarrassed at all! Uzumaki Naruto isn't ashamed of his equipment!" There was a collective face palming. Lee, however, acquired a determined face.

He quickly removed his clothes, leaving the bandages on his hands. "I won't be ashamed either! It is with this body that I have worked hard and attained the title of ninja! I, Rock Lee, show this body to you proudly!!"

Kankurou groaned. "You brats are so wierd."

Neji and Sasuke took the distractions of their colleagues as an opportunity to get undressed and were seated quietly next to Shikamaru. "Cover your shame," Sasuke finally ordered. "No one wants to see that."

Naruto grinned but wrapped the towel around his waist. "Hehe, jealous, Sasuke?"

"Hn." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Kankurou tossed his balled up jumpsuit at Gaara, who just stood there for a second before pulling it off. "I hate you so much," stated the harrassed ninja bluntly. He didn't even look at his brother when he spook. Just merely...glared.

"I hate you too." This said Gaara also undressed the the boys head to the spring. There were all impressed by the multitude of springs all descending down the side of the mountains like the tops of stacked plates. They chose one in the middle area that was empty and sank into the hot water.

Naruto leaned over the edge and looked to the side. "Hey, there's more springs over there," he noticed.

Kankurou moved next to him and grinned. "Yeah, those are the girls' springs. You see, since everything is natural here, the didn't reall separate some of the area's completely. As a matter of fact, a lot of the springs are right next door to each other." He drew a diagram in the dirt. "So..."

The blond ninja seemed to think. "Well... I don't know..."

"Think about it...it's a once in a lifetime chance, Naruto. Sakura..naaakeeeed?" He leaned on the edge of the spring. "I'll help out of course."

Lee shook his head rapidly. "You mustn't, Naruto-kun! You'll get into big trouble if you're caught!"

"But we're ninja," Kankurou reminded. "If Naruto is really Hokage material he won't _get_ caught. Am I right, Naruto-kun?"

It was easy to see that Naruto was very conflicted. On one hand Lee had a point and it didn't really appeal to Naruto to be like Ero-sennin, Jiraiya. However...Sakura... He sank deep into the water, his brain spinning.

Shikamaru had his eyes closed but was listening intently. "I'd worry less about the owner catching you and more about the girls catching you."

Neji adjusted the clips keeping his hair out of the water. "Ten-ten would kill you."

"Forget Ten-ten. Temari would have them skinned," Shikamaru said with a smirk.

"Sakura would scream...then kill them", Sasuke agreed. "I know I'm probably wasting my breath but it would be a good idea to forget about this idea."

Kankurou slumped in the water looking dejected. "You guys are such a drag. I guess you're too young to understand." Naruto groaned, still thinking.

Everyone looked up as someone crouched beside their spring. "Kiba????"

The Inuzuka had his dog on his head looking confused. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"


	4. A Wicked View

Sorry, I haven't updated in a while. My computer glitched and I lost all of my work on chapter 4. I was peeved and I couldn't even look at this fic for a while. But after some revising my old work, I decided to try again. Stupid computers!

* * *

Kiba slid into the water with Akamaru on his head. The little dog had towel of cold water on his head and looked quite at ease. He gave a joyful bark in greetings to his fellow Leaf ninjas. 

Naruto gave the dog a dubious look. "Hey, you can't have that dog here. Animals aren't allowed." He snickered impishly. "I guess you have to get out too, loud mouth."

Akamaru growled. Kiba simply glared. "Shut up. I and Akamaru have every right to be here as you, loser. My mom saved the owners cat so she's letting us stay here as thanks. She said that even Akamaru could come. He's a special guest." There was a bark in affirmation. "Still doesn't answer what _you_ guys are doing here."

"The owners manly sister, who I think is really a dude, hired us for a mission. Since we completed it she said that we could come and invite some of our friends. Even Sakura and Hinata are here."

Kiba blinked. "Hi..na...ta?" The idea of the quaint and gentle Hinata in a steamy pond of water make him turn as red as the marks on his cheeks. Neji gave him a peculiar look. "Then what are the Sand guys doing here?" Kiba asked in order to change the subject.

"I invited them of course," Naruto answered. Gaara kept his eyes closed. Kankurou was too busy trying to ogle the pretty girls in the distance to pay attention to Kiba or the others.

However, the Inuzuka couldn't help but to pay attention to Kankurou. "Hey, what are you doing? You look like your eyes are gonna come out." He waded over to stand beside Kankurou.

"You can almost see the girl baths from here. But there's all this stuff in the way. I can only catch glimpses. Damn! I think that was a boob, move!" He shoved Kiba to the side and craned his neck. "Hey, is that pink hair? Might be Sakura."

Naruto was over there quickly. "Sakura-chan? Where?"

"See, over there!" He pointed. "Is that hair or a towel?"

"I can't tell...are the other girls beside her?"

"Hinata? What?" Kiba was also craning his neck. Neji and the others just looked at them with disgust.

Gaara sighed. "Give them a few minutes, they'll forget about it and give up."

"Are you serious," Sasuke snorted. "It's Naruto. He's got more determination than all of us combined. Now that his mind is set on it, he won't stop until he sees something."

There was a collective sigh. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and climbed out of the water. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to around when those guys get caught for peeping."

Neji climbed out with a groan. "It's not like they can see anything. All that vegetation is in the way. Not to mention the steam too."

Gaara followed. "I hope he gets kicked out, the pervert."

"Would have expected better of Kiba," Sasuke commented. He stopped and turned. "Lee?"

The poor boy had his head half underwater. He was watching Naruto and the others looking conflicted. It was obvious he wanted to see too but he was torn by his since of chivalry and gentlemanship. Sasuke sighed and walked over to him. He grabbed the older boy by his bowl-cut top and dragged him out of the water. "Don't get involved, Fuzzy Eyebrows. It's just not worth it."

The other boys retreated to the inside spas. Along the way the bumped into the girls. There was a lot of blushing, even though there were all fully covered by their towels. Almost no one made eye contact. Gaara and Sasuke rolled their eyes in dismay.

"So where have you been?" Temari inquired casually.

"Ah...outside spas..." Shikamaru answered just as casually. They made eye contact and turned away from each other.

"Can we go now?" Gaara snapped and pushed passed them. Sasuke followed with a 'Hm'. Sakura blushed as he passed.

Neji was more collected. "Where are you headed now?"

"The scented spas," Ten-ten answered. "I want the lilac one."

"We're headed that way!" Lee chirped. "We want the green tea spa!"

"Aren't those next door to each other?" Temari twitched and looked a Shikamaru. The spas were separated by walls but still, to think only a few inches of stone and plaster would be separating their naked bodies. She made a little high-pitched noise.

"Temari?"

"Ah..um...sneezed. Gotta go. Cold air and all!" She skittered away hurriedly.

Neji shook his head. "We better go too. See you later. Maybe we can hook up tonight."

Ten-ten nodded and started to leave. Hinata stayed behind and gently touched Neji on the shoulder. He stopped and looked at her curiously. She stammered and fidgeted nervously. She couldn't look him in the eye but Neji didn't need the Byakugan to see what she wanted.

"He's still outside being a perv. Why do you like that guy?"

"Well...he...I...what?!" She looked wide-eyed at her cousin.

Neji smirked. "See you around, Hinata." He turned and left her to gape in shock.

The green tea spa also had mint in it. The boys quickly fell into a mode of relaxed. Shikamaru stared at the glass ceiling. He could bathe AND stare at the clouds. It must be heaven, he mused. Neji was talking to Sasuke about ninja stuff and fights. Occasionally Lee would pipe in with a comment but overall it was a nice relaxing time.

Until -they- came back.

"We couldn't see a damn thing!" Kankurou complained slipping in next to Gaara. The red-haired boy gave him an intense glare of hatred. "Now my eyes hurt."

Naruto looked disappointed as well. "I really wanted to see Sakura-chan too." Kiba just pouted. Akamaru licked his face in consolation.

"Well, you just missed them," Shikamaru stated. "They're actually in the room next to us but you won't have any better chance of seeing them now than before. Probably less of a chance." He chuckled. "I guess that's what you call irony."

Kankurou's jaw dropped. "There...I...Damn! Naruto!"

"I know, I know!! Maaaaaaan." They three would-be peeping toms began to think. "If only we could see through walls."

"Yeah."

"Neji can see through walls," Kiba commented. Three sets of eyes turned on the Hyuuga.

"No. I'm not a pevert."

Kankurou grinned as she slid over to Neji. He whispered something in his ear. Neji shifted uncomfortably.

"I said..." More whispering. "... ... Look, it doesn't make sense for me to look! Only I would be able to see."

"Only see Ten-ten naked?" Kankurou smiled slyly. "No body would know. Sounds like a golden opportunity to me."

Neji gritted his teeth. He looked at the others. It was clear that Sasuke and Shikamaru would have nothing to do with this 'mission'. Lee was looking painfully conflicted. If he knitted his eyebrows together any more, he'd have a blanket, Neji noted.

With a sigh, Hyuuga Neji relented and walked over to the wall. "Only a peek...only...a small...peek. An innocent peek," he repeated to himself over and over. "A little...tiny...innocent peek... Byakugan." The veins around his eyes bulged. He tried to limit the power to a minimum. Unfortunately he couldn't see clearly past the steam. But he did make out two female forms pressed closely together.

"!!!" He stopped the jutsu and covered his nose. Blood seeped from between his fingers, his lavender eyes wide.

"What?!" Kankurou pressed.

"What did you see! Was it hot?" Naruto clenched his fist tightly in anticipation.

"There...there were two girls and I think...they were kissing,"he studdered in a low voice. "B-but my byakugan was on low power so I couldn't be for sure.

"THEN TURN IT UP BRAT!" Kankurou yelled.

Gaara sighed. "I can't believe they convinced Neji."

"Kankurou's powers of perversion are elite. He's like the Anbu of Pervs," Sasuke said with a glare.

Neji blinked and looked at the wall, He pressed his face closer to wall, added by Kankurous hand. Naruto and Kiba both stared at the wall, hoping that somehow Neji's powers would flow into them and they could see too.

"B...Byakugan!" The chakra flowed into his eyes once more and indeed, he made out Ten-Ten leaned over Temari, their faces very close together. The Leaf kunoichi had her hands on either side of Temari's face. She leaned in closer and closer. Neji increased the power involuntarily and saw into the next room and got an eyefull of naked old women.

"GAAAH!!" he fell backwards into the water, unconcious. The Sannin Pervs looked at their fallen tool, near tears.

"DAMMIIIIIT!" Naruto wailed. "I wonder what he saw!!!!!"

Ten-ten blew into Temari's eye. "There I got it! That was a wicked eyelash!"

"Thanks, Ten-ten."


	5. An Apology from an Old Friend

The long awaited next chapter! I can't believe how popular this is. It's probably my most OOC work as well. Any ideas on what the boys should do next?

* * *

Kakashi opened the door to his room to exit but was met with an exuberant Gai. He blinked lazily and peered over his shoulder. Kurenai waved, a little embarrassment on her cheeks. "Oh, hey, Kurenai, what are you doing here?"

"Gai fetched me. He said that it was urgent that I come here and relax. So…..here I am."

The silver-haired ninja nodded. "Well, I was about to take a look around. Care to join? I've been sleeping all day, I need some fresh air." Kurenai nodded. "Ah, well, I'll see you Gai." Kakashi tilted his body to snake past Gai.

"You owe me, Hatake." Kakashi paused for a second but continued on. Gai pleased with himself went inside and collapsed in a pile on the couch. He stared at the clock for a few minutes then frowned. "… … That bastard tricked me into getting his girlfriend… Dammit."

The boys exited the spa, for the most part relaxed. Neji, once he gained consciousness, didn't speak or look at anyone but his blush was persistent. It was unanimously decided to head back to the room and do something entertaining and decidedly less perverted.

Kankurou looked down at the ground and noticed a string trailing from Gaara's towel. He followed behind his brother for a few steps, watching it slither across the ground. It snagged on a break in a floor a little but broke free. It occurred to Kankurou at this time that perhaps he should grab it before it really snagged the ground.

"Gaara, stop for a second," he spoke up, but Gaara continued walking. "Hey, brat stop walking."

"I'm not in the mood, Kankurou," Gaara answered coldly.

Kankurou snorted and looked down at the string. It was really only dangling on the towel. Maybe if he stepped on it, it would just tear off. He shrugged, decided that it was worth a try. He put his foot on the string lightly to test its strength when Kiba caught his attention.

"Hey, look at those girls," Kiba point to a group of teenage women coming there way.

Kankurou forgetting himself looked up for just a second but it was a second too long. With an almost inaudible 'whump', Gaara's towel hit the floor and the cold air it Gaara.

The red haired boy stopped dead and so did everyone with eyes to see. Kankurou gave an intake of breath, clamping his teeth together, sweat beading on his forehead. Gaara looked back at his towel and saw Kankurou's toe on the string.

"I…know what this looks like….but…I swear it was an accident," he defended. Gaara's face was as red as his hair. He calmly gathered up his towel and put it around his waist again, he broke the offended thread and walked off leaving the others in his wake. The girls watched him pass but no one said anything.

Finding it wise they hurried to catch up with Gaara. In the locker room, no one spoke at first as they got dressed. Kankurou watched his younger brother but there didn't seem to be any problem with him. He didn't seem angry or embarrassed anymore.

"Hey, Gaara, are you-" Kankurou winced. WHAM! Gaara had punched a dent in a nearby locker without so much blinking. Everyone froze. He folded his towel and placed it in the dirty bin with the others and walked away silently. "…His a little pissed still."

"Well, you did embarrass him in front of hundreds of people and dozens of girls," Shikamaru noted. Naruto and Rock Lee were dressed before the others and volunteered to walk with him and try to cheer him up.

The two found him wandering in the main corridor and ran up to either side. "Hey, Gaara, what's up?" Naruto chimed. This comment awarded him a deep glare. "Oh…….yeah."

"When I get angry," began Lee, "I play a game to cheer me up. Let's head to arcade and play something."

"Yeah, come on, Gaara. There's no sense in being mad all day. We're here to relax, remember."

Gaara looked at them both and sighed. They took him by his wrist and dragged him to the arcade. They browsed around looking for something that would be good for relieving frustrations. Naruto put a coin in a game call "Whack-a-mole". He handed a plush mallet to Gaara. "Just hit them when they pop up." Gaara gave it a half-hearted go his first round.

Lee snapped his fingers. "Pretend they're Kankurou!" Gaara hit one and it gave a squeaky "ow" in response. "They're mocking you." Thump… "Teasing you." Thwack…. "And don't forget all those people that saw your private business because of his thoughtlessness." WHACK! "Uh…" .WHACKWHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK! "Gaara…" WHAM! "Um…Gaara…." CRACK!

Tickets poured out the machine as Gaara let his frustrations out on the hapless mechanical moles. Everyone watched in terrified shock. After defeating the final mole level, and achieving high score Gaara calmly put the mallet down and stepped back.

"… I'm still mad." Naruto and Rock Lee stepped out of his way as Gaara went to find more games where he could be Kankurou's face on the receiving end of a mallet of some kind.

"This is going to take a while, Naruto-kun."

Kankurou was walking around the giftshop for a magazine to read to get his mind off of Gaara and what Temari was going to do to him when she found out what he had done. He browsed the selection and didn't find anything to interesting so he grabbed a weekly manga compilation and went to pay for it. Behind the counter, was a line of teddy bears. He blinked as the machine bell dinged and the drawer opened to accept his money. And idea was formulating in his mind. A brilliant idea, one that would end all animosities but the sacrifices would be great. Was it worth it, he asked himself? He envisioned Gaara encapsulating him in sand and squashing him. "Let me have one of those bears too."

Gaara leaned over the edge of the balcony and watched the wind move the trees. He had won the other boys a plethora of games and toys just be taking his frustrations out anyway a game allowed. After a few games, Lee's chiding was unnecessary as he made up his own creative way to torment an imaginary older brother. However, in spite of setting the high scores to a number of games, he was still fuming inside. He just hid it well.

The door opened and Kankurou entered. There was an exchange of uncomfortable greetings. The oldest boy scanned the group for his little brother. They all silently looked towards the balcony. He sighed and pulled out the bear, setting it on the ground. The other watched with interest. He attached strings of chakra to the bear and with a few twitches of his fingers it sprang alive.

He made it go through a series of exercises: bends to the front, back, and sides. He moved its arms in a series of movements and expressions. Satisfied that he had significant control of the plush bear he walked it outside to the balcony next to Gaara. He positioned himself behind a wall so that he could narrate for the bear.

Gaara felt a tug on his pants leg and looked down. Staring up at him with inky black eyes was..

"Do….Dodongo?"

"_Gaara-kun!"_came a high-pitched voice. The bear spread its arms wide. The Leaf boys looked at Kankurou like he had lost his mind then they all tried various ways to stifle their laughter.

"What …" Gaara looked around. "What are you doing here? I haven's seen you since I was a little kid."

"_Gaara-kun, Dodongo has missed you very much but I have a special mission today!"_

"A special mission? What is it?" Gaara mentally wondered why he was talking to a stuffed animal but insisted since it was his childhood friend that it was okay.

"_Pick me up so I can see you better, my neck is hurting since Gaara-kun has gotten so big."_ Gaara knelt down and picked up the bear, carefully putting him on the rail, and leaned over so the bear didn't have to strain so much to talk to him. "_Dodongo saw what happened to Gaarakun this afternoon, yes he did._" Gaara gave an angry look. "_Dodongo instantly knew that Gaara-kun was feeling very sad and so…Dodongo is sad too._" The bear drooped over.

"Don't be sad Dodongo!" Gaara encouraged. "I'm fine."

"_Gaara-kun cannot lie to Dodongo, no no he cannot. Dodongo knows the Gaara's feelings deeeeeeep down inside… Gaara is mad with his brother, yes?_"

"I hate him, Dodongo. He humiliated me. He's always mean to me and he's only nice because Temari makes him."

"_Kankurou is very unsmart, yes! But I saw, Gaara-kun, he didn't do it on purpose! He saw a string and wanted to take it off but stepped on it instead. It was an accident!_"

"Hell of an accident…"

"_Do you know, he asked Dodongo to come and talk to you?_"

"He did?"

"_Oh yeeeees. He saw me and I tried to run but caught me and said. 'Oh, Dodongo! I've done an awful thing and now Gaara is angry with me. What should I do?' Of course, Dodongo said apologize but Kankurou said 'Oh, Dodongo but he'll never speak to me again!' So here I am. Older brother is so so sorry, Gaara-kun.'_"

"Lies, Dodongo. Kankurou is a jerk. He doesn't care about me."

"_Not true! He was terribly upset! He loves the Gaara very much! He told Dodongo ' Gaara is my one only brother and though I cannot show it, I love him a lot but I only make him unhappy. I wish I could told tell him how much I care.'"_

"Really?"

"_Really. He loves you soooooooo muuuuuch. He loves you…THIIIIIS MUCH!" _The bear spread its arms wide. _"Will you forgive older brother, Gaara-kun?"_

"Well… I guess so. Since he told you to come then he must care. Thank you, Dodongo." Gaara picked the bear up and hugged it tightly.

Kankurou slid to the floor with a deep sigh. He looked over to the others. They were in stitches on the floor, writhing in pain. He gave them and intense glare and walked over to them. Neji seemed to be the only one not laughing but he was punching himself in the thigh to keep from doing so.

" 'I love you thiiiiis muuuuch'" mocked Naruto. There were snorts and Neji punched his thigh harder.

Kankurou put his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to need you all to die. I mean… if it's not too much to ask, could you go to hell too?" It was too much, the all just burst into laughter at the older boy's expense.

Gaara entered, still holding the bear and stood beside Kankurou, watching his idiot friends laugh themselves to death. He looked at his brother who did not look at him. "I forgive you, Kankurou. I know it was and accident and if I had just stopped when you asked me, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"Oh, uh, thank you Gaara. I'm sorry about that. Nice bear!" He rolled his eyes up to look at the ceiling. Gaara nudged Lee with a toe but he was too busy trying to catch his breath.

"I do have a question though," Gaara began. "I know how you got the bear to move but how did you get your voice that high?"

"Mmmm… Well the first step is to take your pride and kick it in the balls. Then you take your dignity and punch it in the face. The rest follows naturally." Gaara nodded and kicked Lee again curiously.


	6. Who's a afraid of a big bad zombie?

Well, as not to be a complete bum! I UPDATE!

* * *

After the laughter died down it was time for some real fun. The boys all began to dig through Gaara's hard earned, anger fueled winnings. Naruto beat Neji over the head with a blow up screwdriver, until Neji found a rubber band gun and proceeded to shoot the spikey blonde mercilessly. The spikey blonde begged for mercy as red whelp developed on his leg and arms.

Akamaru found a ball and played with it. Kiba found a magic eye poster and was currently going cross-eyed trying to see the naked girl that Kankurou assured him was there. "It freaking looks like a rabbit!"

"Just look harder," Kankurou urged as he entertained himself with a paddleball.

Sasuke pulled out a small box. "Wow, a camcorder…." Kankurou opened his mouth to speak but Sasuke glared at him. "No."

"You don't know what I was going to say!"

"Did it involve girls and/or nudity?"

"… … A true ninja never reveals his motives…"

"… You're so full of shit," Sasuke accused with a glare.

There was a sudden intake of air. They all turned to look at Kiba. "I think ….I think….. …. No nevermind." They shook their heads.

Lee however jumped up in joy. "YES! We should definitely watch this! It's already getting late, so it's the perfect time to enjoy a scary movie."

"A scary movie," Neji asked dubiously. "How could a move be scary enough to scare ninja? We've seen enough to make anyone numb to fear."

Lee' expression grew grim. "You…have not seen, " He held up the DVD case. "The Slaughters of the Demon Anbu 5, a movie only rivaled in scariness by THIS!" He held up another case. "The Unforgivable Scroll."

Kankurou unwrapped a sucker and put it in his mouth. "How bad can they be? You babies might be scared but I'm up for anything."

Taken by this challenge the boy readily agreed to partake in this impromptu movie night. They took turns brushing their teeth and spread their futon around the TV, now in the pajama's. Lee loaded up the movie while Sasuke and Kiba proceeded to shut the blind, thrusting the room into pitch black.

Several minutes into the movie, the boys moved closer to the screen captivated by the wicked tale of the cursed Anbu. Akamaru was already shivering in Kiba's pajama top. Gaara was uncommonly close to Kankurou, hugging Dodongo tightly. Kankurou had the blanket wrapped around them, partly for warmth, partly for reasons he wasn't willing to admit relating to the movie and the fear therefore incurred.

The music became suddenly dark and foreboding as an attractive blond kunoichi placed her hand on a door knob turning it….slowly.

"She's gonna die," Kiba whimpered.

"Shh!" Sasuke hissed.

The door creaked as it opened. Revealing a mostly empty room, except for a little girl in a white dress humming a Japanese tune as she played with a puppet.

"Oh fuck…." Kankurou pulled the blanket tighter. "That ain't cool…."

"SHH!" Sasuke shushed for a second time. His hands fiddled with each other nervously.

The woman moved closer to the child, her guard slightly lowered. "What are you doing here, little one. It's not safe…" She reached out to touch the girls shoulder.

Naruto felt something heavy on his shoulder. His body temperature dropped ten degrees, his heart stopped as he turned, a pale slender hand had his shoulder. "H…H…….HHhhh….HHHHHHHHH….HOLY CRAP! IT'S GOT ME!"

"AAAAAAAH!" They boys collectively screamed.

Sasuke jumped up and ran for the kitchen, hoping to surround himself in knives. Neji fell immediately into a battle stance. Lee hid in the bathroom, Gaara surrounding himself and Kankurou in sand. Shikamaru picked up the rubber band gun and aimed it at the ghost. Naruto fell unconscious.

Hinata stood there in a white gown, her eyes wide with fear. "I….I… I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask you guys if you wanted some food."

The boys slowly emerged from their hiding spots. "How do you know it's really Hinata?" Kiba quipped holding a shuriken.

"Huh?" the confused girl looked around. "Uuuuuh…" Neji confirmed with his Byakugan that, indeed, it was Hinata. They breathed a sigh of relief. "What's going on? Did I scare you guys?"

"…….." The boy looked at each and laughed.

"What? No way?"

"Haha, we sure fooled you!"

"Us? Scared?"

"Look at her she's all jumpy!"

"This movie isn't scary at all!"

Hinata blinked. "Oh, you're watching a scary movie….Can we watch too?"

The boys fell into a huddle. "If we let the girls in, they'll know we're scared." "Are you crazy? Girls plus scary movies, instant cuddling." "Pervert. I say no way. They'll want to sleep in here, they'll be so scared." "I second my previous statement." "I second Sasuke; you are a pervert." "If they're in here, they can't surprise us." "And the scare the shit out of us?" "Exactly." "Good point." "So they're in?" "Sure."

They all stood up and regarded the perplexed Hinata. Shikamaru shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, you guys can come in. Just don't come crying to us because you're scared." Hinata nodded and left the room. The boys took their seats again, braver and Lee rewound back to the point they left out at. In a few moments, the girls were in the room armed with pillows and blankets.

Temari plopped down in-between Kankurou and Shikamaru, holding her pillow. Hinata sat by Naruto, mostly to revive him from his stupor. Sakura snuggled up as close as she could to Sasuke. And finally, Ten-ten, fell in between her teammates. The movie resumed.

As the movie progressed, blood was splattering, people were screaming, and cursed undead ninja were systematically hunting down every living thing in the village. When the movie ended, no one was breathing.

"… … … Wanna watch the next one," Lee ventured with his voice shaking. Not wanting to be the coward everyone put on a smile and nodded. It was already nearly midnight.

The next movie started off with a bright shiny village. Birds were singing, a stream gurgled nearby, and a dog walked past the screen holding a severed human skull locked in a silent scream. Gaara gripped Dodongo a little tighter.

Halfway through the movie, the main villain, "the man with one cursed eye", was chasing the main characters through a dark corridor. He seemed to be everywhere they turned. There was no escape. No retreat. No way out.

The window behind them slammed. They all jumped and turned. The wind blew the curtains.

Kiba leaned over to Sasuke. "I…I thought you closed the windows?"

"I…I did." Sakura started to whimper. Sasuke held her close eye glued onto the window.

"Someone should go over and cl-close it," Naruto suggested. "I vote for Neji. He's older."

"What! Kankurou's older than me."

"I don't do good with melee battle! …Lee should go!"

"… … Um… I'm not so good with ninjutsu. Ghosts use ninjutsu. I suggest Gaara goes."

"Shikamaru should sacrifice himself for the greater good. He's chuunin and therefore leader."

"Fuck. That. I vote for Kiba, he's the loud comic relief that always dies first. He should just go on and get it over with."

"WHAT! Naruto's way funnier and louder, _he_ should go."

"WHAT! I'm the cute one. The cute dies last, jerk."

Behind them movie continued and a woman screamed as the 'man with the evil eye' laughed maniacally. The shuddered as they turned just in time to see the darkness engulf her.

"How naughty for such young ninja to still be up," came a dark voice. No one moved. "Those are the kind of ninja… _I LIKE TO KILL_!" They turned one last time to see a glowing red eye glaring down at them.

And screaming insued until someone cut on the light. Gai reclined by the door, grinning. Kurenai was brushing her teeth, an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"I think I wet myself…"Kiba whimpered.

"I _know_ I wet myself," Temari agreed.

The copy-ninja chuckled to himself only to find Naruto attached to him and punching him in the arm. "WHERE DO YOU GET THE NERVE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF US! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME I'VE ALMOST DIED TONIGHT!"

Gai looked over to his team. "You weren't scared were you guys?"

They all put on the airs of seriousness and shook their heads. However, Ten-ten was embraced tightly Neji's arms protectively, and Ten-ten had her nails digging into Lee's arms. Lee still had his blankets pulled around him.

Their jounin rolled his eyes. He walked over to the DVD player and ejected the two movies. "You guys shouldn't be watching these. We'll be confiscating them. Good night! Sweet dreams."

"Girls back to your room," Kurenai ordered. The girls slowly got up and shuffled in a huddled group to their room. Kakashi and Kurenai waved shutting the door and turning off the light.

The room was silent for a few moments until Neji spoke up. "… Those movies were great."

"Yeah."

"Let's do this again."

"Did you see the girls, they were so scared."

"Girls are weak, y'know."

"Arf."

"Akamaru says 'Did you see the way the Anbu ripped that guy in two?'"

"That was so sweet."

"Those movies weren't scary, they were just dumb."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Lee, would you turn on the bathroom light?"

"Are you scared?"

"No, I just don't want to stub my toe, if I get up late in the night."

"Oh….Yeah. That makes sense. Good idea."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I hate stubbing my toe."

"Gaara can't sleep right?"

"Hey, Gaara watch out for zombies."

"… …" Gaara hugged his bear.

Armed with a bathroom light and an insomniac harboring a demon, the brave ninja were finally able of sleeping. Except for Gaara, who could only hug his bear and hope that nothing was going to eat him.


	7. Friends Forever?

And now….

**puts on romantic music**

Enjoy.

* * *

Kakashi and Gai stood on the balcony drinking tea in the early morning hours. "Gai, even though we've been rivals… I like to think that we're friends as well." Gai smiled and opened his mouth to speak. "Shut up. And as a friend, I feel as though I can trust you with my secrets and emotions..." Again Gai motioned to speak. "Shut up. You know how important Kurenai is to me and I've worked hard to get up to this point. So, I just have one request: leave me and Kurenai alone for today. We need…'US' time, you know?" Gai stared at him. "Y'know?" He opened his mouth. "I'm glad we could have this talk." Kakashi patted Gai on the back and left the balcony.

"…Such a bastard!" the bushy-eyed jounin cursed. "He is so cool."

Kurenai unpacked her last bit of clothing and considered looking in on the girls. She fluffed her hair and opened the door to the room. She strolled down the hall, looking at each door for the proper number. Kakashi tapped her from behind, causing her to whirl around.

"Ah! Kakashi you scared me. Where's the girls' room?" she asked calmly.

"If you mean the little girls room there's a public one down the hall next to the soda machines. If you mean our genin, their off enjoying the pool," he joked smiling.

"Oh…" Kurenai seemed thoughtful. "I guess they don't need me to check up on them, so-"

Kakashi placed his arm around her shoulders. "Say you'll go out with me today?"

Kurenai's cheeks flushed red from being so close to the Copy-ninja. She gently removed his arm and decided to exercise her right to flirt. "Well… I could say that but I think I'd like it better if someone asked me and I just…answered." She flipped her hair seductively.

It was Kakashi's turn to blush. He grinned broadly from behind his mask and cleared his throat. "Kurenai…how would you like to spend the day in my company." He raised his eyebrow inquisitively.

"Well, it'd be my pleasure, Kakashi," she answered batting her eyelashes. "I'll go get ready, I'll meet you, say in half an hour."

"I'll be waiting," he chimed. She slipped pass him and into her room, giving him a flirty look before closing her door.

Kakashi raised his fist in the air and did a tiny dance. He jogged back to his room and started to freshen up. He slapped on some aftershave, fluffed his hair and gave the mirror a good luck wink.

He leaned coolly against the opposite wall of Kurenai's door and waited patiently for it to open. When it did, an hour later, the genjutsu using kunoichi had her hair pulled up and was in a stunning spaghetti-strapped white dress with red hibiscus going up one-side. She delicately approached Kakashi and put on her girlish airs. Kakashi blushed and smiled like a moron.

"Oh, I'm so late. I just had such trouble with this hair of mine," she cooed. She gave him a sidelong glance. "Are you mad with me?" She pouted her crimson lips and twisted her shoulders back and forth like an admonished child.

The copy-ninja just smiled and stared at her for a moment before shaking his head no. She giggled and took a few steps away. She looked back. "Come on, silly, we don't have all day, y'know." She beckoned him with a finger. Kakashi practically floated over to her, brain running on stand-by.

Gai meanwhile lied on the couch and turned on the television. He idly snacked on wasabi-covered peas and a neon-green sports drink from a vending machine. The channel rested on a soap opera.

"Gaio," a blonde man in a suit said to a slightly shorter man with dark brown hair. "I love her so don't interfere…"

"But Takashi! She's bad news," Gaio begged. "She tricks men, lures them with these illusions of beauty and femininity. She's a maneater if you ask me."

Takashi whirled on his friend. "You know how important Kuriko is to me! I've worked hard to get to this point in our relationship. I don't want you to interfere…" Gaio hung his head and sighed in defeat. Takashi left the room and slammed the door behind him.

Gai put another wasabi bean in his mouth.

Kuriko stood in her bathroom. She looked stunning, with her long red hair flowing in waves down her back. A cute white dress hung off of her shoulders as she put on lipstick. She looked down an grabbed a vile of poison, she delicately applied it to her lips. "That fool Takashi has been pursuing me for years. Today…it all ends. Thanks to Gaio, I can finally catch him off guard and soon all of his secrets will be mine and I can rule Konomi Corp."

Gai yawned and started to drift to sleep.

_Kurenai laughed evilly. The door opened and Kakashi entered taking her into his arms in an embrace. "Kurenai… Kurenai how I've longed for this day."_

"_Oh, Kakashi! I was a fool to not see you for the man that you are. I was so afraid to love again after my husband died in that terrible hot spring accident." She began to weep._

"_I know my love. It was just unfortunate but don't think of that. No one could have suspected that he would fall asleep and drown. It's not your fault!"_

_Kurnai wiped her eyes. "You're so good to me, Kakashi… Kiss me…"_

"_Kurenai…"_

"_Kakashi…"_

"_Kurenai…"_

"_Kakashi…" They kissed. When their lips released, Kakashi was smiling blissfully. But suddenly, his expression changed to one of pain. He began to choke. "OH HO HO HO! Kakashi you fool! I never loved you. My husband didn't die in the hot spring! I **killed** him! I weakened him with wine and held his head underwater. His expression was the same as yours. OH HO HO!"_

"_G….Gaio….you…ah…." And Kakashi was dead. _

"KAKASHI!" Gai sat up. He looked at the TV. Gaio was attending Takashi's funeral. "Oh…my…god….what have I done? SHE'S GOING TO KILL HIM! Wait…I can't jump to conclusions…."

The little devil on Gai's shoulder appeared. **You can to! I bet if you go to her room you'll find poison!**

But the tiny angel disagreed. _But Gai, you are Kurenai's friend, too. She would never hurt Kakashi._

**Women are evil! He used to be your best friend and rival and now he won't even look at you! Just like Gaio!**

_Spying is wrong, Gai. And that was a cheesy, overdramatic soap opera that throws everything out of proportion._

**Spying may be wrong but do remember the time Kurenai shaved your eyebrows and penciled them back on and you looked like a mime for three weeks until they grew back in.**

… _She must pay for her indiscretions. WE ARE KONOHA'S GREEN BEASTS! A woman so dastardly as to shave a man is surely capable of murder! A traitorous Delilah she is! _

"OOOOOOOOSU!" Gai stood up and raised his fist in the air. "I'll save you Kakashi for I am MAITO GAI!"

Gai put on a yukata and snuck outside. He scuttled over to Kurenai's door and tested the handle. It was locked. He looked around. A hairpin was lying in the carpet fibers. Having bitten off all of his fingernails, he struggled to free it but the tenacious jounin pulled it free. He carefully began the process of picking the lock. After a few minutes her heard a satisfying click. He twisted the handle and it swung open.

He closed and locked the door behind him. The room was clean and her suitcase was tucked into a corner. He snuck into her bathroom and started to snoop around. He opened a bag and dumped it into the sink. It was normal toiletries. Toothbrush, toothpaste, lipstick, eyeliner, concealer, empty clear vial… Gai gasped.

"Poison…" He gripped the vial in his hand. "I have to save him."

Kakashi and Kurenai sat outside on a balcony and enjoyed a drink. They laughed together and joked. "So what's that's you're always reading?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. I just uh…" He blushed. "I dunno. I haven't had many girlfriends so…"

Kurenai's eyes widened. "It's one of those dating books! Wow, I've read a few myself."

"Really?"

"Yeah…Icha Icha Heaven was so good!"

"You read Icha Icha Heaven? It's so rare, even Jiraiya won't let me see it."

Kurenai blushed. "Well…it was a long time ago that I read it. I just kinda found a copy. I still have it somewhere. It's so cheesy but it's romantic, I think."

"I'd love to…Wow…You keep amazing me." They stared at each other for a while before looking away awkwardly.

A waiter approached them and offered them a bottle of wine. Kakashi purchased it and they began to drank. And that is how Gai the Spy found them as he snuck into the restaurant dressed like a man in large shades. He hid behind the menu.

He watched as his friend downed four glasses, while Kurenai barely finished her one. Suspicious. Why was she letting him drink so much? Gai wondered. A waitress approached him and asked him for his order. He pointed to something without looking and shooed her away.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes. "Hey…Kurenai… There's hot springs here the say that if a couple enters them they'll be together forever…" He paused dramatically trying to gauge her reaction. When she blushed and looked away with a shy smile, he knew he could make his move. "Let's go. Who knows what magic they hold, right? It could be true or just a bunch of crap the they tell tourists to get them to spend their money."

"Well…O…Okay…" They stood up and started to leave.

When they were gone, Gai stood up to leave but the waitress came with his food. A large lobster. "I'd like my check"

"Oh, it'll be 100 ryo, sir." Gai almost lost his composure.

Kakashi began to undress in the locker room. He hummed a bright happy tune and practically danced his way to the Springs of Love. He climbed into a pool with his towel wrapped around his waist. The hot water warmed his blood, which was already warm from the alcohol. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He heard the creak of the straw gate that separated that particular spring from the others open. The water splashed as Kurenai entered and waded toward him.

"Come here, Kurenai. The water feels great. I might fall asleep." Kakashi grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a kiss. He opened his eyes and gazed at her long lashes and bushy eyebrows. "…"

"… …" Gai looked surprised.

The gate opened one more time. Kurenai was in a short robe, holding a bottle of wine and to glasses. She looked just as shocked as the two men. "Uh….I….w..w…What's going on?"

Gai and Kakashi split to two separate sides of the spring. But it was the Green Beast that recovered the most quickly. "YOU! You are trying to kill my best friend!"

"What?" She almost dropped the bottle. "Gai have you gone insane?"

The man chuckled knowingly. "Then how do you explain this!" He showed them the vial. "And empty vial of poison."

Kurenai looked completely unamused. "You fuzzy eyed moron! That's my favorite perfume! Just open it and smell!"

Gai blinked and popped the cork. It indeed smelled good. "Wow…this smells like sakura blossoms…Hm, they have a scent for men? I bet I could get a lot of ladies with this…"

"Oh it's a special mix," Kurenai explained forgetting herself. "I had to go all the way to Wave cou-WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU! GET OUT!"

"But-…I was just…"

Kurenai put the bottle and glasses down and stalked through the water. She grabbed Gai but the back of his bowl-cut and dragged him out of the spring. "Look! I will not have you RUINING this date for me… And if you interfere with my date one more time, I'll crack your skull open like a capsule toy and play marbles with your tiny TINY brain." She pushed him out the gate, gave him a sweet smile and waved good-bye before shutting it in his face.

Gai rubbed the back of his head and left despondently. Kakashi was sitting in the middle of the spring in disbelief. Kurenai sat beside him. "What's wrong? He's gone now."

"He was in the spring…does…does that mean I'm going to be with him… forever?" The copy-ninja teared up and cried into Kurenai's shoulder. The kunoichi sighed deeply and patted his back.


	8. The Plan, the Prey, and the Pool

Back to our favorite shinobi.

Poolside fun, anyone?

* * *

While Kakashi went to put the moves on Kurenai, the girls went to put the moves on the boys. Which was a lot like putting moves on a brick wall. When Temari called them to invite them to hang out that pool, Shikamaru gave her a very Shikamaru answer.

"Mmm, sound troublesome."

"What? What do you mean?" she asked, twirling the cord in her finger, trying not to reach into the phone and shake him senseless.

"Y'know...There might be little kids there and they pee in the pool."

"We're swimming, not drinking. Besides we'll be in the deep end so there's no worries about anyone peeing in the pool."

"I dunno...Naruto doesn't look house-trained."

"WHAT!" came a familiar yell. "I AM TO HOUSE-TRAINED. You're just afraid you'll get a nose-bleed if you see Temari come out of her top."

"WHAT! It's not that at all!"

"_Henge! Oh, Shikamaru, hooold me! My top came off on the sliiiiide."_ There was the sound of the phone being dropped and feet running.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Shikamaru's yelled though it sounded distant. Temari held the phone from her ear and looked into the earpiece as if she could see the chaos forming.

"Nosebleed! Nosebleed!" There was a thwack. "ACK! Gaara?"

"You just made me see my sister naked. I'll kill you."

"Yeah, no one wants to see that cow naked. I almost lost my lunch." Obviously Kankurou. She made a mental note to kick his ass later or at least drown him. Feet approached the phone and it was picked up again.

"Uh...yeah. So anyway, I'll meet you guys down at the pool. I guess it won't be too bad."

Temari turned and gave the girls a thumbs up. There was silent cheering. "Great! I'll see you guys in thirty minutes. Don't forget your trunks!"

"Fine, fine...Uh...What are you wearing?" There was a pause. "I mean, I don't care. I just... You see, I was wondering...I..."

"BOOBIIIIES!" Naruto screamed.

"...Bye." The phone was put down. By the tone of his voice, it sounded like Shikamaru was going to kill someone. Someone blonde, loud, and named Naruto. Temari was pleased.

She hung the phone up and clapped her hands together. "Okay, girls. We've got boys to seduce!" She made a fist. "Sakura! Sasuke is the quiet, uninterested type. You must be subtle...sly...but! determined. Be mysterious and cool."

Sakura saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Ten-ten!"

"Willing and waiting, general!" She saluted.

"Neji...thinks he's invunerable. Be persistent and sexy. His brain will quickly melt and you can conquer his will. Move in quick like the snake, surround him like the air, then conquer him with the passion of fire!"

"YES!"

Temari looked at Hinata, who looked like she was being sentenced to hug a wall of nails. "Hinata...sweet, innocent, Hinata. Careful, precise, gentle...Hinata," Temari cooed. "Your love just yelled the word 'boobies' at the top of his lungs. He's got the attention span of a gold-fish. He won't know you exist unless..." The older girl sat down beside her friend and put her arm around her shoulders. "Unless you grab him by the balls and say, 'HEY! I LIKE YOU!' buuuuuut...I don't think that's you kind of thing, right?"

Wide-eyed Hinata couldn't speak. Grab...Naruto...by the...She went pale as rice and hugged a pillow for comfort and support. Temari nodded her head.

"I have just the thing for you. I brought several bathing suits for the seduction of my lazy but wonderful Shikamaru... I'll let you borrow one."

"Will...will I look good?" Hinata asked nervously, her cheeks burning.

Temari covered her mouth and laughed. She gave Hinata a dangerous look. The look of a woman on a mission. "Look good? My dear, if Naruto doesn't notice you, he very well may not be interested in women at all. All right troops! We have five minutes. HUSTLE!" The girls dashed to the luggages, minus Hinata who was petrified with the possibility that Naruto was gay, and began to dig through their clothing for their 'weapons'.

The boys lazed around for a few minutes to finish their breakfast. Naruto poured ketchup all over his eggs much to the disgust of Sasuke. Neji enjoyed the many flavors of syrup on his waffles. Lee was doing push-ups. His count was a meager 367...368...369. Kiba and Shikamaru played video games, having finished their food quickly, while Gaara tried to fend his brother away from his sausages.

"Get your own!" Gaara had his elbow in Kankurou's cheek, trying to push him away.

Kankurou reached around with his fork and tried to spear a link from the plate. "I didn't order any."

"Well, tough! Get away from my plate!"

"Share, dammit! We're family."

"I'll kill you!"

"...Temari naked."

Gaara recoiled enough for Kankurou to capture a sweet delicious roll of maple-flavored pork. "EW! DAMMIT! GIVE IT BACK!"

"Hahaha! Nyaaaaaah." He pulled his eyelid down and stuck out his tongue. Gaara sat up and reached over to retrieve his lost sausage. With his greater size and longer arms, Kankurou kept him at bay.

"You'r so immature! Kankurou, I'm warning you..."

"Temari naked."

"EW! STOP!"

"Temari naked. Temari naked. Temari naked."

Gaara glared at him and held his plate up."Take...the damn...sausages, you son-of-a-" Just as Kankurou reached over to impale all of the sausages, his fork and the first sausage turned to sand and poured all over the plate. "Oops! You spilt sand all over the plate...Tough luck, big brother. Sorry, still want them?"

"... You suck, freak."

"Fatass..."

"Shrimp."

"Pig." They boys bantered back and forth, Gaara between bites of food, the sand shifting off before it reached his mouth.

Shikamaru destroyed Kiba again in Ninja vs Samurai 3. Kiba pouted and reached over to pet Akamaru who was allowed to 'do the dishes' by licking plates. The lazy ninja yawned and looked over to the clock. "We better get going you guys. The girls'll get mad if we don't show up on time."

The boys separated to get their trunks. Naruto quickly stripped and put on his black trunks with a flame motif on the bottoms. Sasuke's were simply black with a purple cobra coiling up one leg. Shikamaru's were standar green with the village symbol in black and his family name in kanji on one leg. Neji's were white with tiger strips on one leg. Kankurou and Gaara came from opposite sides of the room only discover they had the same taste in trunks. The older brother sported black with a red sand symbol while the younger brother wore red with a black sand symbol.

"Copy-cat."

"Dummy."

"How original. Did you make that up on your own or did you steal it from me?"

"I'll-" Gaara began threateningly.

"Kill-" Kankurou said along with Gaara.

"You...God, I hate you so...so much."

Lee stretched and put his hands on his sides. All faces in the room became filled with mixed emotions. Shock, fear, confusion, disgust, embarrasment, humor... But no one could deny that Lee was proud as he sported his green speedos with a turtle shell print on the back. "All right guys! I'm ready!"

"Turtle" Kankurou held up one hand like a scale. "Crotch..."He held up his other hand and looked at them both. He pretend to weigh them, moving his hands up and down. "...I can make approximately 100 jokes from this situation."

Shikamaru facepalmed. "Please don't."

Kankurou shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. "I'm just saying, the possibilities are grand."

Kiba came out of the bathroom. His trunks were a wolf print. "Let's go! I love swimming and I get to see Hinata in a sexy, skin-tight-" His eyes caught Neji giving him a dirty look. "...Did I say Hinata? I meant..."

"Shut up?"

"Yeah. That sounds good," he agreed looking like a scolded puppy.

Naruto grabbed up a few things from the pile of loot Gaara earned. "I got the toys." He tossed Neji the inflatable screwdriver. He caught it and put it over his shoulder like sword. So the troupe of young men walked down to the pool. The smell of chlorine and the sounds of watery fun hit them immediately. Kiba had an small dinosaur innertube on his head, Akamaru perched in the middle of it. Kankurou was given (read: he took them) the inflatable boxing gloves. He would try to punch Gaara but, arms crossed, the short ninja's sand would come up. Kankurou's efforts were just to irritate him.

"BOYS!" Temari called out to them. She approached in a purple one piece with fishnet across the middle and as the straps. It was nearly backless as she gave a twirl and hugged Shikamaru. "You're right on time."

Having the girl of his dreams draped around his neck with nothing but a thin layer of netting and lycra between them made Nara Shikamaru flush furiously. He was painfully aware of the intense gaze of Temari's two brothers behind him so his hands were in the air, no where near Temari or her body. Gaara was after all the one carrying the water gun.

"Ah, h...hey...Te..Temari," Shikamaru stammered. He forgot himself and put his hands on her waist. He heard the sound of Gaara pumping pressure into the gun and pushed her away like a time bomb, pocketing his hands.

Temari leaned to the side and looked at her brothers. "Hello, dear brothers." Kankurou was looking at Shikamaru and punching the gloves together. Gaara was still pumping in preparation of head shot to certain leaf ninja. When the two noticed their sister giving them 'the eye', the immediately put on airs of innocence. "So, shall we hit the water?"

Kiba ran past them as he held on to the inner tube on his head and cannonballed into the water. Akamaru gave a joyous yip before the water them. The rest raised their arms to shield from the splash. Naruto was about to jump in when Temari caught him by the back of his trunks and pulled him back. She spun him around, making him slightly dizzy, and pushed him at Hinata. The girl put up her hands instinctively and caught Naruto against her chest. The two looked at each other for a few seconds before splitting and looking embarrassed. Temari looked at Neji who raised an eyebrow knowingly.Her response was the 'V for victory' sign.

"Ah, sorry about that Hinata-chan. I-" He looked over to her and almost swallowed his tongue. Her bathing suit was a two piece, a very simply lavender string bikini. Naruto immediately turned around and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He turned back around and grinned, his cheeks flushed from smeared blood. "Uuuuuuuuh...Nice bathing suit!" He sidestepped and chuckled nervously before falling backwards into the water.

Hinata blinked and sat at the waters edge for second to get used to the water before slipping in completely. Naruto gave a high-pitched yell and ducked under the water. However, the words of advice friends gave her gave her courage. She pinched her nose and submerged.

"Well, that was wierd." Kankurou propped his arm on Gaara's head.

Tired of Kankurou's antics, the younger boy turned his head and pointed to a group of girls on the far side of the pool. " Hotties at nine'o clock and if I'm not mistaken the forecast is a 50 chance of C-cu-" Gaara was left wide eyed. He had no idea that his brother could move that fast. "-ps."

Sasuke smirked and looked down at the tiled for the pool for a second. He saw Sakura's reflection beside him. She had on a conservative black one piece. Her hair was pinned up though two strands trailed on each side of her face. She had her arms crossed and was looking across the pool, solemn and uninterested.

"Sakura?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay? You seem..." She yawned and walked away, leaving Sasuke confused. He shrugged a little and put his hands in his pockets again. He looked over to her, she was talking to a blonde boy, kind of weak looking, most likely a civilian.

Ten-ten gave a stretch. "My, my. Sakura's tastes sure have changed since all of this country boys have been talking to her."

"...Hmph." Sasuke pretended that he didn't care or mind. But what was she doing talking to such weak guys after she was falling all over herself over him?

"Yeah, but you have to admit that she's kind of classy and some of these civilians are so much more polite than ninja boys can be sometimes," Temari chimed in. Ten-ten nodded her agreement. "Don't sweat it, Sasuke. You're a pretty rough guy. You'll probably end up with a rough girl... like Ino."

Sasuke frowned. He looked back and Sakura. The blonde boy bowed to here and took her hand. She was laughing as he twirled her around like a dancer. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Mmmnnnnn..." Ten-ten and Temari exchanged a brief look before Temari grabbed Shikamaru and dragged him away leaving Ten-ten, Neji, and Gaara.

Gaara.

Somehow...someway, she had to get rid of him somehow. Ten-ten looked around the pool. "Hey! Let's all hit the slide. She pointed the swirling mass of plastic tubing the spiralled almost the entire circumference of the natatorium. The watched a girl sit in the top then slide down. Occasionally they could catch her screams between the cut-outs in the tubing but only briefly. At the bottom of the slide her body shot into the water like a torpedo.

The plan was simple. Neji and Ten-ten slide in first, Gaara would go last, giving Ten-ten enough time to drag her prey away to be claimed completely by her fire of passion. She ran forward and beckoned them on. "Come on! We don't want to be waiting in line all day." The boys shrugged and followed her right into her trap.


	9. The Pig and the Butterfly

So some of your wondering what Ino and Chouji were up to.

In my sick little world...they're up to this.

Enjoy.

* * *

Ino threw a bunch of dying flowers in to the garbage forcefully. She gritted her teeth and growled like a thing possessed as she went through the flower shop tending to the blooms. Her father looked at her fearfully. He'd never seen her so infuriated before and it was starting to freak out the customers. Not to mention Ino was tending the flowers with TNT not TLC.

"Ah…Ino, honey," he ventured cautiously.

"WHAT!" She turned with fire in her eyes and a pair of pruning shears in her hands.

He gulped but bravely ventured onward. "Why don't you take the day off? I can handle things here."

She stabbed the pointed end of the shears into a pillar and ripped off her apron. "Fine!" Ino stomped out leaving the patrons feeling at ease that she was gone. She made wild boars look like cute little piglets when she was angry.

Ino found out from Tsunade that Sakura had gone off with Sasuke. Not only that but she could have invited her to go along. EVERYONE had gone, except for Chouji and Shino but Chouji was visiting gamily in Earth and Shino and his dad were on a bug expedition, not that hot springs were Shino's deal anyway. BUT STILL DAMMIT! That tricky, evil, backstabbing, cotton-candy head had run off with Sasuke knowing FULL well that Ino would have wanted to go as well.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Ino stood in the middle of the street and screamed, holding her head. "_I'll kill her! I'll rip her into teeny tiny little pieces and sprinkler her over my garden!_" People in the street stopped and made sure they gave the psychotic little blonde all the room she need to be crazy without involving them.

Chouji however was curious as to why Ino was losing her composure in public. It's the kind of thing she'd like to do in private. Something really must have gotten her fired up, he decided. He popped a chip in his mouth and walked away from the corner store, several bags of goodies hooked on his arm. "Ino?"

"WHAT?"

He grimaced and recoiled slightly. "Ah…What's wrong?" Another chip found its doom in his jaws.

"Sakura went to the hot springs in Sauna…WITHOUT ME! She did it JUST so she could spend time with Sasuke! It's not fair dammit!" She pulled her hair. Chouji blinked and put another chip in his mouth.

"That all?"

"'That all?' H—Wh…Yo…HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!" She grabbed her teammate by the shirt and pulled him in. "Sakura is my greatest rival for the affections of Sasuke. She has just pulled the biggest stunt and I'm left in the dust!" She sniffed and let Chouji go. Ino tried to appear strong by crossing her arms and forcing more anger into expression but the way her eyes sparkled let Chouji know that her feelings were hurt.

He nodded and held out a box of Men's pocky to here. She looked at the chocolate pudding covered sticks for a second then at Chouji. His expression was apologetic but she took on anyway.

"Why is it call Men's pocky?"

"I dunno. Want to go someplace else? Everyone's looking at you."

She looked around. Indeed, everyone was looking, staring, and/or gaping at her. Ino laughed nervously. "Sorry, I was …um…. There's an audition for a play you see. So I …wa..s…." She grabbed Chouji's hand and dragged him away in a hurry. They ended up in the park under a large oak. Ino sank to her bottom and covered her face. "My life is over… How can I live with myself if Sakura beats me?" Crunch, munch, munch. Chouji simply looked at her while he ate. "Aren't you made that Shikamaru left without you?"

"Nope. Shikamaru is my best friend and he would have invited me if I was here. I wasn't, so how can I be mad? Besides," he grinned. "He's getting to spend a lot of time with Temari so even if I went I doubt he'd have time for me anyway."

Ino groaned. "Shikamaru…maybe I should have gone out with him but now he's got this hot older girl! GOD, I'm DOOMED! My only choices are Kiba and Shino!….AAAAAAAAAAAH!" She suddenly went limp with a blank stare. "That's it. I have no choice as a ninja but to commit seppuku. I have no honor left." She sniffed again.

Suddenly a bag of chips hovered in front of her face. Chouji gave it a shake. "Chips?"

She looked at the back and reached in grabbing a thin, fried flake. She regarded it carefully before popping it into her mouth. It was good, nothing like old fashioned BBQ chips. Chouji balled up the bag and put it aside before opening another one.

"I don't get it, Chouji. Guys have it easy… you just wait for a girl to come to you. I mean…_WE_ have to do all the hard work." She grabbed a ramune bottle from the bag and popped the marble before taking a swig. "I wake up early in the morning to look this good. Between juggling ninja work, the flower shop, and being a model woman, I'm exhausted. You know?"

"Mn." He nodded.

"All I ask is for a man that will be there for me. Who will _listen_?… Is that so unreasonable!"

"Uh, no, I guess not."

Ino reached into his bag of chips and pulled out a hanful. "Want to go shopping?"

"Sure?"

She stood up and dusted her hands on her shorts. Chouji followed picking up the garbage and putting it in the bag. She took his free hand and dragged him along like a mule. He tirade about the injustices of love was not over as they headed to the busy shopping district of Konoha.

"-So I said, I'm not going to wear that, Mom, it'll make me look fat! I've already go these chubby cheeks. Hold this." She put a dress on his head. "So, she said, 'Oh, stop. It'll take the attention away from you hips'. MY HIPS, CHOUJI! What's wrong with my hips, I ask you?"

"Uh…Nothing?"

"THANK YOU! So anyway…Here, hold this, this…this, and grab that would you?" The tower of clothing he was holding was growing taller and taller. He could barely enjoy his chocolate mushrooms candies. "Oh…You know what…."

"Huh…", came his muffled voice behind the clothes.

"I don't really need any of this, you can put it down." She took his hand again before he had time to put them back on the racks.

"Whoa! Uh, Ino…"

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's got get something eat." She pulled him through the streets and lead him to a Yakiniku and Curry stand. She ordered two plates of large curry and 4 orders of yakitori. The whole time she was complaining. "-And then Sakura has the audacity to try and out run me to class. She's always trying to get ahead…We used to be good friends but now we do nothing but compete. And what for?

"Sasuke?" He offered, cheeks full of food.

"EXACTLY! And what's so cool about Sasuke?"

"Uh….everything?"

"Obviously! Ooooooh, I 'm so mad. Here, my share, I can't finish." She poured half a plate of curry onto his. "What does it take to get some respect around here?" She pounded her fist on the counter and finally fell quiet as she watched Chouji make short work of his food.

He sighed satisfied and paid for their meals. "Sasuke's cool and all. He's strong and smart and I guess attractive but….If he doesn't treat you kindly or seem interested at all then why go through all the bother?"

Ino almost smacked him. "Are you crazy! Why go through all the bother! Because….Because…." She thought for a second. "Because it's Sasuke is why?" She hopped off the stool and grabbed him by his shirt. "Let's go for a walk."

Ever obedient, Chouji allowed himself to be pulled around like a cart. She took here, there, here again and over there for good measure, discussing in great detail why Sasuke was cool and why Sakura was undeserving and furthermore the finer points of why Sasuke would benefit from dating a classy girl like Yamanako Ino.

They sat on a bench on a high rise overlooking the city. The sun was starting to set. Chouji munched on his last bag of chips. For the last hour, Ino was silent. She was still upset after all of that. He looked in his bag and looked at the final chip. He looked at Ino. He looked at the chip. Then Ino…Then the chip…..

He pulled it out and held it to her. "Chip?" She took it and chewed on it thoughtfully. For the second time that day, he balled up the bag and put it in the now empty plastic convenient store bag. She watched him.

"You know… the last chip really is the best one."

Chouji smiled in genuine. "Yeah! It's the final chip…the one that you long for but you never know which one will be the last one. And then…you realize 'This is it! This is the last chip from this bag. All of the flavor is in this chip.' And when you eat it, it's so good. And you feel so satisfied. You know, I bet you feel better because you've gotten to Last Chips. You should be really at ease now." He looked at here expecting some physical change. She was a rookie to the appreciation of final chips.

Indeed, Ino's mood changed and she smiled. "You know…I do feel a lot better! So Sakura got to go to the Hot Springs. So what? I'm still Yamanaka Ino the best kunoichi in Konoha! She can try her underhanded tricks but I'll win Sasuke's love my own way, through hardwork and dedication!" She pointed out to the horizon.

"YEAH!" Chouji pointed with her.

She looked over at him. He looked really determined. He was really rooting for her. All day she dragged him around and he never complained once. He listened, he obeyed, he even sacrificed- albeit, he only sacrificed food but when talking about Chouji that was a pretty significant sacrifice.

He noticed her staring and blinked. He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "Is there something on my face? Mmm, I don't feel anything."

"Let me see," she said with a grin. He turned to face her. She took both cheeks in her hands and kissed him right on the lips. "There, I got it."

Chouji could here his brain cracking and his reality shatter. She blinked, turned fire red and turned around. "…….Thanks……"

"Come walk me home, Chouji."

"Yes, ma'am!" He stood up and saluted, still dumbfounded. Ino smiled and crossed her arms as the air began to cool. They walked together up to her doorstep.

She turned and stretched. "Ah! Today was a good day. I guess I'll see you later, Chouji!"

"Ah…Ino…that kiss, I-"

She gave him a severe glare. "What kiss?"

He swallowed hard. "Aaaaah, nothing."

"That's right and don't you forget it." She hugged him and kissed him again. "This never happened."

"YES, MA'AM!" He saluted again. She turned and walked inside.

Chouji began to head back to his own him but he paused and touched his lips. "I've got to give her my last chip more often…"


	10. What Ninja Girls want, Ninja girls get

You guys have waited long enough. Props to the guys that have been patient and like the good Shuukaku loving girl I am...I'm gonna give you the long awaited next chapter. Expect another chapter soon but I'll let you guys marinate on this one for a few days.

Boys? Girls are evil. What should you do? Don't fight it. Just give in and sign your soul over onthe dotted line. It's less painful.

LOVE!

* * *

And so the threesome of Neji, Ten-ten and Gaara stood at the top of the stairs to slide into a pool at the end of the coiling tubing. Gaara was peeking over the edge of the rail into the mass of people in the pool beneath them. The attendant motioned for the next person to go.

"I think that's you, Neji. Have fun!" She slapped his bare shoulder lightly. Neji nodded and checked to see that his clip would stay in place. The last thing he wanted was to drown in his own hair. The attendant nodded that he was okay to go whenever he was ready. He grabbed the bar then slid down.

Gaara watched him slid down, seeing him occasionally in the holes in the tubing. I seemed like forever before he splashed at the bottom. Ten-ten tapped his shoulder. "Okay, if I go next?" she asked brightly. He shrugged. It was none of his business if she wanted to splash around with her boyfriend.

The attendant gave her the thumbs up and she shot down the slide. She pulled a miniature scroll out of her bun and hid it in her hands as she slid down. It was after the last opening that she would lay her trap. There was no one immediately behind Gaara so she was sure it was safe. The final opening as looming ahead. She tightened her body like a missile and shifted her weight so that she spun. She affixed the scroll to the walls of the tube and then splashed at the bottom. Neji was waiting by the edge of the pool.

She swam over to him and climbed out. "That was fun. Let's go over to the waterfalls. They have a place you can sit," she offered.

Neji looked up at the slide. Gaara was getting ready to come down. "Shouldn't we wait for Gaara?"

"Nah. I asked him if he wanted to join us but he said it wasn't really his thing," She lied. She had to be careful. Neji was a master at reading people and one wrong facial move and he would know she was lying. Luckily, he seemed oblivious and merely shrugged. She was relieved and took his hand as Gaara dove into the tube.

The sensation of shooting down a tube filled with water made Gaara feel something like the spider the went up the water spout right after one of the torrential downpours. However, he enjoyed the sensation and was disappointed when he suddenly stopped. The water rushed underneath him but he could not go on any further. Some invisible wall seemed to impeding his watery journey.

"Figures...Just when I was having a good time..." He sighed and crossed his arms and legs, resting his back against the force wall. "Could this get any worse?"

His answer came in the form of a blonde girl rushing towards him. He blinked and caught her before she hurt herself. She looked at him and blinked. "Hi?"

"Hi."

"What's going on?" She asked with great confusion.

"Someone booby-trapped the water chute. So we can't go any further right now," he answered calmly. Another body came at them. It was another girl. She opened her mouth to speak. "Booby trap. We can't get through to the other side," he intercepted. She closed her mouth and looked at her friend.

And so Gaara found after three minutes he had a lap full of girls. Apparently, they were all friends; models from all over Fire country looking to relax at a hot spring before their next calendar shoot. Suddenly Gaara felt his back give against the force wall.

"Excuse me...ladies?" They all looked at him. "Brace yourselves, I think we're about -ACK!" He fell back and soon several bodies went shooting out of the tube with a tremendous noise.

Naruto was floating on an inner tube on a separated canal of water where swimmers could simply float and relax when he got splashed by a wave of water. He cleared the water from his eyes only to find Hinata sitting on the edge of the floating canal. "Hey, Hinata want to float?"

"Uuuuh...I...Naruto, I..." She swallowed hard. "I l...like floating." She jumped into the water and climbed into an inner tube inwardly disappointed that she could not reveal her feelings.

Temari and Shikamaru were also on the lazy floating river of inner-tubes. It's all Shikamaru wanted to do. So they went around over and over again... "Hey, Shikamaru, want to do something else?" she asked for the fifth time.

"Mmmm, nope," he answered... for the fifth time. So they floated for a few more seconds before Temari finally jumped out of the inner tube. "Where are you going?"

"Well, you enjoy floating around. I'm going to see if I can't find someone to be interested in me," she said icily, hands on her hips. She made sure that her retreating backside had the perfect amount of sway.

Shikamaru sighed and laid back in the inner tube. He could see the clouds through the glass ceiling. Why didn't she like relaxing? He looked over towards her. She was leaning over a rail back towards him.

"Hmmmm...Nara...you have to make a decision and that decision will determine what kind of man you are," he said to himself. "You could follow her like a puppy or stand you ground." He looked at her again. "I can watch clouds or watch her." The fluffy white masses moved a lazily as he did. "I'm not whipped. We're not even dating..." He sat up so that he could still see her. She was drying water from her chest. He grabbed a hold of the side of the canal so he could watch her. She rubbed down her stomach then bent over to dry her legs. He began to way his options like a true strategist. "Cloud... Temari... Cloud... Temari... Cloud... ... A nice butt. Dammit...all. TEMARI, WAIT A SEC!" Shikamaru hopped out of the water and headed for her location.

Temari pretended not to here and continued drying her hair, though a cruel and sly grin crossed her face. "Checkmate, my dear lazy genius." She narrowed her eyes. "You may be smart like a fox, but I am smart AND foxy."

Shikamaru stood beside her. "Sorry, I was being a lazy bum. I just... Well, never mind that. What do _you_ want to do?"

She grinned. "Let's get a drink and talk." She took his hand a lead him away.

As they walked, they past Sakura chatting up a group of suitors. Sasuke was pretended to catch a nap nearby in ear range. So far their pick up lines were pretty lame, except for this one kid from Mist. He claimed to be so talented the ninja villages wanted him but he turned them down so he could stay at home with his ailing mother and 7 brothers and sisters.

"You carried him all the way to next city," Sakura said in awe.

The well-toned youth ran his finger through his hair. "Sure did. That's when I got this scare on my leg. I had to fight off three Missing nin. That's outlaw ninjas for you guys that don't know."

"And the I saved an orphanage," Sasuke mocked angrily. The guys turned their heads.

"Say something, Sasuke?"

"No."

Sakura shrugged. "So tell me about the fight?"

"Well, I don't know if you can tell but I have an advanced bloodline. When I'm protecting the ones I love, I get really powerful. They say, I have so much chakra, if I train well enough, I'd never run out." Sakura gasped. "I dunno, something just snapped and I just starting taking this guys out, one after another. I could be Anbu if I trained but I don't have time to train, I have to teach my little brothers and sisters all kinds of other stuff. Can't really focus on myself." The guys ooed and awed. For someone not a ninja, he certainly seemed to know a lot about chakra.

"I have really good chakra control myself," Sakura mentioned. "Best in my team, actually."

The boy moved in closer. "Really? Can you...show me some moves?" His nose was practically touching her cheek.

"Oh, well we don't have any room..." She began. She looked over at Sasuke, He was trying to pretended to asleep but his arms were crossed so tightly she could see his muscles rippling under the strain. "I can teach you hand seals. Sasuke, do you want to help Bo."

"Only one and seal comes to mind that he could benefit from..." Sasuke began coolly.

Bo cleared his throat. "And what would that one be?"

"I take that back, there's two. The Flipping bird and the advanced Double Rising Phoenix." Sakura made a face. Those weren't hand seals, what the hell was he talking about.

"Care to show us these hand seals or do you even know what hand seals are?" Bo laughed. "You must still be a genin from the sound of things."

Sasuke yawned and sat up. He calmly swung his legs off of the chair and walked over. The circle parted and everyone looked at Bo and Sasuke expectantly. "Actually, these hand seals have been passed down through my family for generations. There vary dangerous so we don't use them often."

"Oh?" Bo raised an eyebrow suddenly interested. Sakura, too, leaned forward.

"Yeah. You see liars like you really piss me off. You shame the name ninja by pretending to be one. You probably know some real ninja and are just ripping off their stories and trying to get a girl to like you." Sasuke tilted his head, his tone calm and even. "Girls like Sakura know a phony when the see one, but I guess I can reveal it you. Now I'm only going to show you this once. Don't use this unless you're really sure you can handle it. Are you ready?" Bo glared intensely at Sasuke.

The circle opened up around the two seemingly powerful combatants. Sasuke closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He held his hands up palms facing Bo. "Don't blink or you'll miss it. Sharingan!" Sasuke opened his eyes. Bo looked shocked.

"Sasuke...what are you going to do?" Sakura clasped her hands together.

"I'm going to show the most dangerous jutsu that anyone could do...Flipping Bird." He held up his right middle finger. "And the Double Rising Phoenix!" He held up his other middle finger." He put his hands in his pockets and blink, black pools returning.

Sakura looked at Sasuke in disbelief, though on the inside... _HELL YEAH! BURN!_ She cleared her through. "Bo, I think you know those are real hand seals so-"

Bo held up his ands staring Sasuke down. "So you're a tough guy, huh? I can do those too." He grinned and held his palms out. "Ready? Flipping bird!" One finger. "And Double Rising-WHACK!" Sasuke's fist connected with Bo's face sending him across the deck and into a pool of water.

"Idiot. I told him not to do it." Sasuke shrugged and walked off.

Inner Sakura watched Sasuke with admiring eyes. _I want to have his babies...BEST JUTSU EVER!_ Outer Sakura however had to keep on the heat. She ran after Sasuke. "Sasuke! Wait, just a second!"

Neji looked up when he heard Sasuke's name but Ten-Ten's hand on his made him look back. She was smiling at him. "So Neji...what have you been up to while you've been here?"

He shrugged at this. "Just the hot springs really. Not much else to do you know. I'll be glad to get home and do some training, acutally."

"Glad to go back to Konoha, huh? Do you have a girlfriend waiting you back there?" Ten-ten asked conversationally. Neji stared at her.

She looked back innocently. "No, I don't really have time. You should know that. We're on so many missions these days, it would be unfair to have a girlfriend." He turned his head and cleared his throat.

"You're always so responsible, Neji. But...I wonder..." She tapped her index finger on her chin. "What kind of girl is your type exactly?"

He pretended not to be uncomfortable by cracking his knuckles then reclining back on the rocks. "I don't have a type."

"Everyone has a type," Ten-ten assured. "You know, all the things you find..._sexy_." She crossed her legs and looked at the ceiling.

Neji tried not to look at her legs but there right next to his head. He blushed and cracked his knuckles again. "I don't know. I like...smart girls."

"Uh huuuuuh."

"Strong girls."

"I see. Blonde? Brunette?" She looked down at him but he did not meet her gaze.

"Brunette," he said instinctively but added hurriedly," because my hair is dark. It just seems like a good fit. Like putting the round rod in the round hole." He nodded then considered his statement. "But not like...sexually. Just...metaphorically but not in that way. I mean an actual rod...not..." He stopped talking and wondered if he knew any jutsu to erase the last 10 seconds.

He looked at Ten-ten but she seemed to be nodding at his words as if he weren't babbling at all. "I see. The round rod in the round hole. A good fit. I think so too. So, is this a big rod or a little rod, not sexually? I just want to know how much you like brunettes."

Neji stared at her. Her expression was completely even. She was being serious. "Uh..it's...not a big rod. I mean...It's like...an...average...rod...I mean... slightly above average." He cleared his throat. "Possibly more than slightly. You do know I'm not talking sexually, right? I mean...we're teammates. We're purely professional..."

"Absolutely!" Ten-ten smack him on the shoulder reassuringly.

He nodded and the remained silent for a few seconds."But I'm not saying that teammates can't... be more than professional. I'm just saying that right now we're being professional." He blush intensified and he suddenly realized that he was pushing the tips of his forefingers together. "Aaaaaah, I'm going to get a drink? You want a drink? Don't bother getting up, I'll go get!" He jumped off of the cliff and into the water. Ten-ten let out a sigh of relief, keeping a straight face through that was a serious test of ninja ability.. Temari waved at her to get her attention. Ten-ten shrugged in confusion. The general's troops were falling out of rank. She motioned for Ten-ten to chase the fleeing Hyuuga.

However, one Hyuuga could not flee. She was plastered in place listening to Naruto talk about ramen. He was slurping up an order of the noodles at the poolside restaurant.

"This is so good," he sighed breathlessly. "You sure you don't want any?"

"I..." She shook her head.

"You know, Hinata," Naruta began. He quickly finished drinking the broth remaining in the bowl. "I think you're a really good ninja. I mean you're shy but like I said I like that about you. I wish I could be as quiet as you." He paid for the ramen and stood up.

They walked outside of the restaurant and sat beside the pool. Naruto took a deep breath of the chlorine scent. "I was really cheering for you the entire time during the Chuunin exams. I wish we could have made it through to the end but you know... Sand attacked."

"I...uh... I l...I like..."

"Hm?"

"Was there. I was there."

"Yeah you were, so I guess you know what I'm talking about!" He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. Hinata laughed a little but her hear sank again.

"Dammit..."

Naruto blinked. "Huh?"

"OH! My toe!...I...I jammed it." He knelt down and check her foot. He squinted.

"It looks okay...Come on, I'll carry you around." He took her hand and pulled her up. He got to his knees and patted the back of her thighs. "Hop on! All aboard the Naruto Express! We find the other guys."

Hinata shivered nervously. Temari's plan was not working at all.

_"He won't know you exist unless...you grab him by the balls and say, 'HEY! I LIKE YOU!'"_

"Hinata?... Hinata-chan?" Naruto shook her shoulders. "You look like you're cold? Here." He put a towel around her shoulders. "You're shaking and you didn't respond when I called out to you."

"O...oh..."

He looked at her closely and put a hand on her cheek. "Hinata...if something is wrong then you absolutely can trust me and tell me. I won't let anything happen to you. I'm your friend." He smiled kindly.

"...I...I..." He waited patiently. _Say you like him! Say it! I can't...I can't say it! Why? He's waiting for me to say it and I just can't. Naruto you're my inspiration to get stronger. You're a hard worker and if no one in Konoha believes in you, I do! I'll always be on your side Naruto. Why can't I say it? WHY CAN'T I SAY-"_

A young girl playing her friends accidentally tripped and sent a buck of icy cold water onto Hinata's exposed spine. "I LIKE YOOOOUUU!" Everyone stopped and stared at her. Naruto blinked. Her eyes went wide as saucers. Her racing thoughts and the cold water finally released the truth.

Hinata looked around. "Uh... did I say that out loud? Ha...ha..."

"FLAWLESS VICTORY HINATA!" yelled Temari from across the pool. Everyone laughed and activity resumed as though it never stopped.

Shikamaru looked at the girl on his lap. "What was that all about?"

"What?"

"That."

"What?"

"The flawless victory Hinata."

"What?"

"... Why do I like you again?" Temari flashed a grin. Shikamaru sighed and plopped his chin in his hand as he leaned against the arm of the chair. "I...am...so...whipped."

Temari nodded solemnly. "And it is so cute."

Akamaru and Kiba floated in the water, the Inuzuka's head barely above water as he watched Hinata and Naruto. "This sucks." Akamaru barked in agreement. "Hey, Lee. Doesn't it suck that we don't have girlfriends."

Lee laughed a little and patted his friends back. "While I'm sorry about your luck, I'm sure that Sakura will come around to my side. Once realizes the Sasuke isn't the romantic type, she'll have no choice but to love me."

Kiba raised and eyebrow and regarded him like a lunatic. "At what point does optimism become delusional?"

"The power of love is exploding all round. I'm ready to ride the wave to my first kiss!" He kissed and imaginary Sakura before him. He laughed. Akamaru whimpered.

"Yeah, I know. He scares me, too. Face it, Lee. In the Chuunin Exam of Love you and I are outmatched."

Lee frowned. "Never give up. Nothing short of Sakura losing her first kiss will discourage me. That prize is my dream." He smiled, teeth glistening.

Sasuke followed Sakura. "I don't know what I did... But you've been ignoring me suddenly and the very least you could do is tell me why?" Sakura hadn't spoken a word to him since he punched Bo and told her that he was a "bottom feeding ninja chaser".

"Forget it, Sasuke. Besides you ignored me for so long, maybe it's karmic justice that no one cares about you anymore. Even Naruto found someone to like him. It seems like you're about to come in 'dead last'."

"You don't think I know what going on? You think if you ignore me, I'll drop everything and go out with you. You're mistaken if that's what you think." He crossed his arms as he called her bluff. Sakura closed her eyes and turned her back. "You're still going to pretend to ignore me?"

"I'm not pretending Sasuke, I'm serious. I'm over you and your ego."

He took her hand and pulled her into a spin ending in a low dip. He kissed her on her lips and spun her back. Sakura's brain shut down and she simply stared blankly. Sasuke smirked walking past her. "Ignore that." He pushed her into the water and walked away whistling lightly.

Kiba looked at the stunned Lee. "Glass half-empty yet?" He bowed his head and accepted defeat. "Yeah... yeah I know."


	11. The Tiger, The Fox, and theTwister?

Sorry this is late. My mom got into a fight with wet grass and lost! Now, she's on crutches.

So what's become of Neji, Hinata, and Sakura? Let's find out!

* * *

Neji twirled the umbrella in his drink. "That was terrible," he thought out loud. He sighed and placed his forehead on the bar. "Stupid, stupid, stupid Hyuuga." He thumped his head lightly, punctuating each 'stupid' as if to drive it into his brain.

"Girl trouble?" Neji looked up at the bartender and nodded. "Aw, it can't be that bad. Tell me what's going on and I'll give you free advice. I've seen more than my fair share of relationships, both good and bad." The man refilled Neji's punch and leaned on the bar to listen to his sad tale.

"Well, there's this girl I ...kind of care for... You see she's my teammate and over the last couple of years, I've really gotten to know her." Neji paused to remember some of their missions where he'd would stand guard at night, watching her sleep as he protected them from surprise attacks. "Well, anyway...she asked me something and I used this _stupid_ analogy. You know, 'square peg in a square whole'? Well, I said...round rod in a round whole..like... like..."

"Sexually," the bartender interjected. Neji answered by banging his head against the table. "Yeeeeeep. That was pretty stupid."

"I." Thump. "Am." Wham. "A" Thud. "FREAKING." Whack. "MORON!" Whump. The mark on his forehead was framed in red from smacking his head so much. "WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME!"

The bartender chuckled and tossed some ice into a towel, placing it on Neji's forehead. "Because don't you get it? Women are like drugs. They're appealing, enticing, expensive, addictive, and if you aren't careful... they'll have you breaking your own arm for more. You're hooked and she's just reeling you in like the big dumb carp you are."

Neji blinked. "Then what should I do?"

"Well, if you really like her you should just tell her bluntly and say your prayers that she'll treat you good. Or..." He pulled the ice away and leaned in close to him. "You could forsake women all together and say you'll meet me in the green tea springs tonight at seven. Towels are optional." He winked. Neji blinked again, smiled nervously, and then backed away slowly.

"Sorry. I uh...suddenly and very clearly realized how much I like Ten-ten. Thanks for the advice and uh... ... " He looked behind him to make sure that he had a clear run. Neji gave one final look to the bartender and ran for it. Ten-ten peaked from underneath the bar.

She sighed with relief and slipped the bartender a few coins. "Thanks, pal. I really just wanted to know what he thought but that last bit...WOW!"

He took the coins and grinned. "Like I said, I've seen my fair share and the scared straight bit?" He put an arm around her shoulder. "Works like gold. If he gives you hard time, send him my way. I'll pinch his butt or something."

Ten-ten laughed, almost evilly. "I will. I will. But I think he's suffered enough." Her expression became fierce as she hopped over the bar. "Come to me, Hyuuga Neji. Ten-ten's gonna make it _aaaall_ better." She grinned at her consort in crime and walked off.

Another Hyuuga was feeling rather moronic. Hinata and Naruto sat together on opposite sizes of a beach chair in silence. Her face was still burning red from the embarassment of yelling out her confession of love. The girls apologized profusely for dumping water on her but she couldn't say much and Naruto assured them that she was fine. So there they sat, Hinata petrified and Naruto confused.

"Hmmm, sooo...you...like ... me?" Naruto turned to face her but her back was facing him. Even that seemed red. So he shut up.

Temari was crouched over Shikamaru her hand pushing down into his head as they peaked from between some stacked innertubes. The lazy genius look uninterested and half-asleep, though he would suddenly awake up when Temari would squeeze his head painfully.

"What is that idiot doing?" she complained. "He's just sitting there!"

"So is she," Shikamaru point out. His rewarded for being observant was a painful tug of his hair. "Ow! Woman!"

"Don't woman me, _boy_! I own your ass now. And I say, poor Hinata! Women are like a delicate flowers and they need to be handled gently. He's breaking her freaking heart!" She growled.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You're not a delicate flower. You're from the desert, so you're more like a cactus. And you do not own my ass. I own my own ass unless we get married and THEN you own my ass..." He stopped and was suddenly reminded of his father's screwed up relationship with his mother. "Oh my god..."

"Shut up. I think they're talking." Temari pushed down on his head again and leaned in closer.

Naruto turned complete around and scooted over to sit beside Hinata. She looked as though she was going cry at any second. "Hey, want to here something funny? Two men walk into a bar... and say 'Ow!' Hahaha! Get it? A bar..like...a..." He could tell it wasn't working. "Uuuhhhh, Sasuke picks his nose in his sleep and eats it. Isn't that gross?" Hinata looked at him, slightly disgusted and surprised. "Yeah, yeah. And Kakashi cleans his ears with pencil erasers. And Iruka-"

"You don't have to do this, Naruto-kun... If you don't feel the same way, then don't feel sorry for me." Hinata stood slowly and stumbled away, like someone just waking from a deep sleep. Naruto watched with a pained expression on his face until he was tackled to the ground.

"Narutoooo!" Temari hand him in the air from the back of his spikey hair. "If you let her get away I'll never forgive you!"

"What am I supposed to say?" He wailed trying to pry her fingers away from his hair. He gulped when he looked into her eyes.

"What?" She cooed sweetly. "What, my dear moron? Why I'll tell you..." She looked over to Shikamaru, who was watching with fear in his eyes. "Shika, go to Hinata and make sure she's all right. I'm going to..." She smiled sweetly as she looked at Naruto as though he were a toddler. "I'm going to train this boy to appreciate a delicate flower."

Shikamaru feared for Naruto. They weren't close but he wouldn't wish Temari's wrath on anyone. "Temari, maybe we should just drop it. I mean, Naruto's an idiot and Hinata is a really nice girl and-" That look, those eyes. What was it his father always saying when his mother gave him that look? "Uh...sorry, dear. Right away." He jogged off after Hinata.

"Now. Naruto, let's chat."

Sakura stared down Sasuke. They had escaped the pools and were at the arcade. He was winning prizes left and right, leaving Sakura to carry a small army of plush dolls. Her plan had backfired. Now he was ignoring her, grinning smugly with himself while she fumed. She abandoned the blind admiration realizing that she would lose face if she didn't win Sasuke over. He wouldn't get away so easily, she thought angrily.

"Sasuke."

"Hmmmm?"

"Sasuke, I'm not letting you get away with stealing my first kiss like that."

"Hm."

"I was supposed to seduce _you_! And you're just taking this all so lightly it's...it's..." She watched him pluck a plush slug out of the UFO machine. He placed it on her head and went back for more. "It's pissing me off!"

"Hmmmm."

She growled. "Well? Don't you have anything to say?"

He turned and looked at her thoughtfully. "Wow. Sakura..."

She smiled. "Yes?"

"I won all the plushies in this machine." Her jaw dropped in morbid disbelief at his indifference. He shrugged and went over to another machine.

"Sasuke!" He didn't turn around. "Uchiha Sasuke!" Sakura watched him plop a few coins into a fighting simulator. She joined him. "Winner take all. Best two out of three."

He began to choose his character. "You're really no match for me, Sakura."

"Hn."

Temari paced in front of Naruto. Her resolve to carefully and thoroughly reprogram Naruto was reflected on her solemn face. It would be too painful for both her and Hinata if the young Hyuuga's heart was broken. If she didn't at least try to mend this fiasco, she would be a failure as a kunoichi and a woman.

"Naruto!" He snapped to alertness at his name being called. "Who do you feel strongly for?"

"Uh...Sakura. I've liked her ever since-" Temari put her foot up on the chair and leaned down over him, glowering. Naruto swallowed hard.

"I'm tell you right now. She's going after Sasuke with everything she's got." She pinched her fingers so close they almost touched. "You see this? This is how much chance you have with Sakura. Look closely...closer...closer..." Naruto squinted. Temari pinched his nose. "You have no chance! Hinata on the other hand, for whatever reason, adores you to death!"

"I know...I just..."

She waved her finger at him. "Ah-ah. No talking. Look, I'm a reasonable woman. I've raised two lovely younger brothers and I've managed to persuade Shikamaru to see things my way. But, Naruto...if you don't see things my way...I'll kill you."

"What?"

"Oh sorry, bad habit." She put her foot down and put her hands on her hips. "I meant, you should forget Sakura for just long enough to give Hinata a chance. Just try it, you might find that she's a diamond in the rough." She smiled and pinched his cheek gently. Naruto stared at her as though she had two head- One that was nice, and one with fangs, horns, and blew fire.

Shikamaru sat with Hinata outside on the balcony. "Why do you like him so much, Hinata. He's not like you at all. He's loud, goofy, and a Class S attention whore."

"Well," Hinata began sheepishly. "Temari's not like you? She's aggressive, pushy, and always takes the initiative." Shikamaru considered this carefully. She was right.

"Dammit. Love is not blind, it's just psychotic!" He glared at the clouds. "Well, in my opinion, Naruto doesn't know what he likes. Just give him some time...or something. What the hell do I know?" He sighed deeply and smiled at Hinata. "She is pushy, isn't she?"

Hinata giggled and nodded. Naruto sat down beside them and groaned loudly. Shikamaru gave Hinata an encouraging smile before he left her with the object of her affection. Her pale lavender eyes regarded the demon container lovingly. He looked exhausted, worried, and confused all at the same time. She felt sorrry for him.

"Naruto-kun, I-"

"Hinata-chan... You know what? I give up," he moaned. She looked perplexed. "I can't take it anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

He sat up and looked at her pleadingly. "I've decided that violent girls just aren't my type! Sakura's beaten, Temari scares the daylights out of me... But you..." He groaned again and put his head in her lap. "I'm yours...just...keep them away from me!"

She covered her mouth to hide her laughter. Naruto hugged her waste and grumbled about Temari's rough handling. Hinata nodded and put her hands on his shoulder. "I'll protect you, Naruto-kun."

"Quiet girls are _definitely _my type. _You_ are definitely...my type," he said with a sigh of relief.

Neji looked around for Ten-ten. She had disappeared, no doubt laughing at his incompetence in dealing with his feelings for her. This made him slightly dismayed. Perhaps, it would be better if he said nothing. Why complicate things, he asked himself.

Two hands covered his eyes from behind. "Guess who?" said a girl obviously trying to disguise her voice.

"Ten-ten, this game never works on me," he answered. She laughed and released her hands from his eyes. He quickly grabbed a hand before she withdrew it. "Ten-ten, I have something to say."

She smiled knowingly but feigned ignorance. "Sure. What's up?"

"I... I like you. I mean..." he considered saying more but given his track record, he decided further explanation would just complicate things. "Yes, that's ehat I mean."

"Oh, I know. Hey, let's go eat at that fancy restaurant upstairs." She tried to usher him up to the doors but he stopped her.

"What?"

Ten-ten rolled her eyes. "You like me. I know. You started liking me a few months ago. Took you long enough. Do you like seafood?"

Neji shook his head in disbelief. "You...you knew? Then why did you make me go through all of that?"

"Because... if didn't like me, you wouldn't have made an idiot out of yourself. But sense you did, it means you really do care." She hugged him. Neji still seemed perplexed.

"I don't- Forget it. Yeah, seafood sounds nice." He relented and put his hands on her shoulders as they left the natatorium together.

Sasuke stared at Sakura from across the table. They had expended their cache of game tokens. Sasuke tried his best to defeat her, winning expertly at every first game but only to lose one and then tie the last. She did not have enough in her to win but she had just enough to thwart him. He scowled. She grinned.

"What's the matter? Giving up?"

"I don't give up," he stated firmly. "Pick your game."

Sakura considered his challenge carefully. The next game could decided their battle. She would have to pick something he had a distinct disadvantage in, but one where she would have the upper hand.

"Twister. You and me. Twister. First one on the ground admits defeat." She leaned back in chair as she placed down her bet.

Sasuke also leaned back. What was her game, he wondered. He was just as flexible as she was. Perhaps, she assumed he would balk at such a silly game. He smirked. "You got it. I'll ge the mat. My room, ten minutes. Better warm up."

"I feeling it'll get very heated," she replied. They shook hands and parted ways.

Sasuke purchased the game with the tokens he had won. His mind went through his strategy. There wasn't really much too it he decided, just be limber. He shook his head as he pressed the elevator button. She had made a fatal mistake but what should he ask for if he won. He could humiliate her and make her do something stupid... He considered his options carefully.

The metal doors slid open and he stepped out. Halfway to the room, he searched the zipped pocket of his trunks for his key card. He opened the door and began to set up the mat. He realized the spinning the dial would be a challenge but shrugged. Just as Sasuke was in the middle of stretching, Sakura knocked on the door. He opened it and blink. She was still in her bathing suit but had put on make up and done her hair up, just in that short amount of time.

"A bit much for losing, eh Sakura?"

She simply smirked and stood on the pad. "Janken pon for starters." She put her hand in to a fist. Sasuke mimicked. On the count of three they revealed their calls. Her paper won over his rock. "You go first."

He shrugged and took her place on the mat. Sakura flicked the plastic arrow and called "Right foot, blue." The challenge and begun. From then on, they took turns spinning the dial, sometimes it seemed impossible as their bodies had to balance but they were ninja, they mangaged. It wasn't until the heat of the game that Sakura began her plot to foil the elusive Uchiha Sasuke.

"Left hand...green," he grunted bent over backwards. Sakura ended up being placed right above him.

"_Oo,_ Sasuke. It's that a kunai or are you happy to see me?" she quipped.

Sasuke looked alarmed for a moment. "What? Shut up."

"I don't blame you. I mean our two half naked bodies contorting over and around each other, in this room...all alone. I'd get excited too."

"I'm not excited. Spin!" He was certain that she was lying but nonetheless tried to check himself without compromising his stability.

"Right hand, yellow. Heeeey, I like where that's going. I mean...this...this is going," she giggled. Sasuke moved his foot, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Would you stop that?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No," he lied.

She chuckled and flicked the spinner. "Hey! He's coming out to say hello! Hiii, little fella."

"HE IS NOT!"

"He says, he wants a kiss. Well, pucker up, little-"

Sasuke dropped to his back and scooted away. "SAKURA! CUT IT..."

"Out? Why yes, yes you are," she remarked nodding.She gave him the V sign, "I WIN! You're mine, Sasuke-kun."

He stopped, hand over his crotch and glared at her. "You sneaky little-.You cheated."

"All's fair in love and war," she said sticking out her tongue.


	12. Gaara's Harem no jutsu? Gai's Girl?

I'm about to go on vacation. I can't leave you guys hanging! So here it is! The grand finale! Where's Gaara and Kankurou? What's become of the jounin? WHEN WILL THIS INSANITY END!

All of these questions SHALL BE ANSWERED!

Been a blast writing this. Over 200 reviews...Wow, I'm full of joy and glee!

* * *

Kankurou yawned loudly and stalked the pool for some entertainment. He saw a few of the others but he didn't want to hang out with brats. They'd ruin his image. But he couldn't help but to wonder where Gaara was. Now that he could tease him with no threat of being killed, he kind of enjoyed being around the little twerp.

"_Oh,_Gaara-kun!"

"Tee-hee! Do you think he's a _natural_ red head?"

"Tell us, Gaara-Gaara? Are you red all over?" This was followed by a lot of giggling and a few squeals of delight. This made the puppet user raise his eyebrows in confusion.

"Uh...yeah." There was much excited squealing that ensued. Kankurou blinked dumbly and walked around the large pipe to find his brother surrounded by gorgeous women. One was sitting in his lap holding a drink up for him to sip from. Another was massaging his feet. Gaara looked up. "Oh, Kankurou. Where've you been?"

Kankurou forced a grin. He walked over and knelt beside his littler brother. "Gaara? Can I...talk to you for a second?" He smiled and looked around. "Now?"

Gaara shrugged. "Sure. Excuse me, girls. I'll be right back." He gently nudged the model on his lap off and stood up. There was much protest as he walked away and sexy pouting. Kankurou took Gaara far from them so that he could throw a proper fit.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"What? The girls?" Gaara asked, nonchalantly. "Oh, there real nice."

Kankurou blinked. "Okay. Let's try that again. Gaara, why are you surrounded by gorgeous women?"

"Uh, dunno. They kinda fell in my lap." The short Sand ninja looked back at his entourage. "I got stuck in the water slide as they were coming down. I had to give Emi mouth-to-mouth. So since I saved her life we started hanging out together."

The sexy blonde in pigtails called out to Gaara. "Hurry back, baby. I sitting in your lap!"

"Aww, it's my turn to sit in his lap!" complained a curly-haired brunette.

"You, uh... gave...mouth-to-mouth to..." Kankurou couldn't spit the words out, they were so unbelievable.

"Emi. The girl with black hair and blue lipstick." He waved. Emi waved back and blew him a kiss. "Nice girl. Did you know lipstick came in flavors?" he asked genuinely interested.

Silence passed between them. "Well, that's a swift kick in the balls. I've been looking for hot girls this whole trip and they just... fall into you lap...literally. Hey, Gaara? Care to continue in crushing my WILL TO LIVE?"

Gaara considered this. "I'm not trying to. They're models. Lingerie models. Akiko is an 'adult film star'." He crooked his fingers in quotation marks. "And Haruka and Haruki, the twins, let me hold the quintuplets."

"Quintuplets? Wow, they look fantastic for having had four kids..." Kankurou looked over at the two twin girls who were trying to tickle each other. This illicited drooling from the older Sand ninja.

"No. No, Kankurou, the quintuplets aren't kids... They're... " He coughed and motioned to his chest. Gaara had to grin to see his brother in so much pain.

Kankurou whimpered, his bottom lip quivering. "They're boo...boo... Awwwww! Why are good things happening to you and not to me? It's not fair!"

Gaara patted him on the shoulder. "Red heads have more fun." He went back to his temporary harem, leaving his brother to sob sadly at his plight. The girls all pounced and pawed on him.

"This day could not get any worse..."

Gai sighed as he walked down the halls of the spa. He was all alone. Even Lee, his prize student hadn't bother to spend any time with him. What was a jounin to do? He harumphed at his sorry condition and looked out of a window to see a woman with a large puffy hairdo and flashy pink glasses sitting on a stone bench looking equally sorry for herself.

He considered her for a moment before walking through the doors to greet her. He flashed his classic Maito smile and sat beside her. "A beautiful woman shouldn't look so sad. It dulls her radiance."

The woman sat up and looked at him with surprise. She seemed about to say something but silenced and went back to sulking. "Don't tease me. I just can't stand it! I was invited her by my friends and they've done nothing but ditch me...Hmph."

Gai nodded sympathetically. "Me too. That bastard Kakashi tricked me into getting his girlfriend and I've barely seen that one-eyed bastard the whole trip."

"Why does everyone have someone but me?" they both whined in unison. The unexpected chorus made the both laugh in spite of themselves.

"Maito. Maito Gai," he introduced as he kissed the back of her hand.

She blushed and turned away slightly. "Hyuri. Hikari Hyuri." Gai grinned and as he stood up still gripping her hand delicately.

"Come, my Blazing Light! Let us cast off our depressing weights and show this spa what a good time is!" Hikari covered her mouth and began to chuckle. Her reactiong made Gai doubt himself for a moment until she erupted in a raucous laugh.

"My dear, Gai..." She stood up and with lightening fast movement, pulled him into a twirl that ended in a dip. "The shackles of solitude have fled from us! We are two shining shooting stars that have collided and now the cosmos shall see our might!" She righted him and put her hands on her hips. She grinned, her teeth glimmered.

Gai's eyes turned to all hearts. "You...YOU...WAHAHAHA! You have the shining splendor of a passion explosion!" He took her in his arms, in a mock dance step. "Hyuri Hikari."

"Maito Gai."

"Hikari!"

"Gai!"

"HIKARIIIIIII!"

"OH GAAAAAIIIII!"

Patrons passing by stopped in shock and stared at the peculiar pair. The way they sounded they all half expected something lewd to be going on but they appeared only to be hugging.

"Drunk?" a man asked his companion.

"Oh yeah. Definitely."

Kankurou sat on a bench and glared at his brother. He puzzled and puzzled and puzzled until his head ached. How? How was Gaara considered more attractive that him? He was tall, strong, and suave. Gaara was short, weak, psycho, and as smooth as sandpaper. How? How! "HOW!" He gritted his teeth as Gaara stood up with his harem.

They were walking towards him, his face contorted in fierce envy. He pretended not to be watching them as they passed by but his arm shot out like a rocket and grabbed Gaara by his arm.

Gaara wrenched his hand away. "What?"

"Where are you going now, brat? Filming a porno?"

His little brother gave him a condescending look. "I'm underaged, moron. And if you must know I'm going to a hot spring with the girls. They here the mud is good for the skin."

There was a stabbing pain in Kankurou's head. "You, the girls...mud?"

"Yes."

Stab. "So...you're going to be in hot mud with naked girls."

"Duh?"

"Hot models...and one porn star...rubbing mud...on each other?"

"I'll probably do some rubbing too." Kankurou went limp, his eyes blank. "I'd invite you but there's not enough room... Sorry. Maybe I'll come get you when we go back to their room. I hear they booked the lover's suite because it was biggest. Have you ever been in a vibrating bed?" There was a high-pitched whine that ended in Kankurou sobbing. "K...Kankurou?" The older sand ninja shooed him away.

Kakashi slipped a strawberry in Kurenai's mouth, both dreamy eyed. They were relaxing in the rose-scented waters of the lovers' springs. They were glad to have finally escaped Gai and his delusions. Kakashi watched the red fruit slip past her full lips and thought of how Icha Icha he was gonna make her paradise, when they heard the familiar sounds of...

"G-gai!" Kurenai sputtered, almost choking. Kakashi grabbed a kunai from a potted plant and held it tightly, knuckles going white.

The bowl-cut bearing jounin walked in front of the bamboo divider. Kakashi's muscles released and the kunai headed straight for his head. He expected Gai to catch it but his expression was of surpise. For a split second he thought he was actually going to kill his old friend...And for a split second...or three...he didn't care but a feminine hand shot out and caught the weapon. Gai blinked.

"Kakashi?" He turned to look behind him. "This one is full too." Kakashi and Kurenai tilted their heads in confusion. Had he finally lost it?

Hikari poked her head from the behind the divider and pouted. Her glasses were gone and her large hairdo reduced and falling around were shoulders. She was really rather attractive when she cleaned up. Which confused the Copy Ninja and the genjutsu kunoichi more.

"Are you all right, darling?" she cooed hugging him close. She gave Kakashi a dirty look and flipped the kunai in her hand. In a split instant it was imbedded in the potted plant behind him. "How dare you attack my Shining Knight! Prepare yourself, for I-" Gai grabbed her outstretched hand and flashed his grin. Hikari was all goo.

"My guardian angel! This is Kakashi and Kurenai. Kakashi, Kurenai, this is Hikari Hyuri." They stared not understanding. "My girlfriend!" Kurenai's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell into the water with a splash. The towel around Kakashi's face almost fell off but he caught it and tied it back on.

"Girlfriend?"

Gai turned his date around and waved. "Don't expect me in the room toni-ight!" He sang with a wave as he left.

Kurenai rose from the water. "I'm sorry, I blacked out. I had a horrible dream."

"I think it was a genjutsu. Now where were we!" Kakashi turned to her with a smile. He was still itching to Icha-Icha.

The cock crowed and the Leaf ninja were all packed up and some were already waiting outside the spa for some of the others. Sakura sat on her luggage beside Sasuke. Sasuke made it very clear to her that he didn't 'do' public displays of affection. Sakura made if very clear that he better be real sweet to her in private if that was the case. And so the Uchiha and the Haruno compromised.

However, Temari _did_ do public displays of affection and she was draped around Shikamaru's neck from behind, half alseep from being wakened so early. The lazy genius didn't seem to mind as long as she wasn't choking him. He couldn't wait to get him and talk to his best friend Chouji. He would be excited for him. Shikamaru secretly wished that his friend could find someone.

Neji, Ten-ten, and a sulking Lee were ready to go. They chatted and wondered where their jounin was. Probably in the weight room, they decided. They weren't surprised to see a grinning Gai, practically skip out of the door towards them. He set his luggage down and hugged all three in one embrace tightly. "Have a good time?"

"Uh...yeah," Neji said trying to push Gai away. Why did he smell like perfume?

Next out were the other two jounin. Kakashi had his typical bored expression on his face. He went over to Hinata and Naruto. The latter was draped backwards over a duffle bag, snoring like no tomorrow. Kakashi nudged him with his toe to wake up. The young boy snorted and hopped to his feet, rubbing his eyes.

"Aaah. Where's Gaara and Kankurou? They're taking forever." He looked at his jounin and then at Kurenai. "Heeeeeeeey, did you get some?" Whack! Kakashi punched him on his head, momentarily losing his temper. He cleared his throat and composed himself.

Kiba grinned, glad to see Naruto getting smacked around for stealing his girlfriend. Well, not really getting smacked around...And not really for stealing his girlfriend...And Hinata wasn't _really_ his girlfriend to begin with... But still! It was funny, so he laughed. Naruto growled at him and Kiba growled back. Hinata stood between them, pleadingly looking at them both to stop fighting over her.

Kankurou soon came out, glaring as though he had be slighted in a cruel way. Following was Gaara and a troupe of sad, sobbing girls. The others looked at the group with disbelief.

"Gaaraaaa!" whined Emi. "I'm gonna miss my little Sand mouse."

"Gaara, sweety. Say you'll visit me?"

"Don't forget to call me too!"

"And me!"

"Do you have to go so sooooon?"

Gaara sighed and regarded his girls. "Don't be so sad. If I'm ever you way, I'll drop by to say hello. Don't cry. I mean, you'll always have the picutures."

Kankurou gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.

"Okaaaaaaay," they chorused like a class of school girls. Gaara bowed to them and walked over to the group.

"Ready."

Kakashi checked out the girls before getting an elbow to his ribs. He glanced and Kurenai and chuckled nervously. "Well, let's go!"

And so they began to walk away until one of Gaara's women called out for them to stop. It was the busty blonde, jogging their way. Kankurou rolled his eyes and gave his brother a look that could freeze water. Gaara smirked.

"Wait!" Akiko stopped before Gaara, panting breathlessly. She looked at Kankurou and the back at him. "Is that...your brother?" Gaara nodded. She grinned and walked over to him. She put a piece of paper in his hand and leaned in close to his ear. "Mmm, call me if you're ever my way, Bozo. I wanna see how big your 'puppet' really is." She gave him a passionate kiss and shivered before skipping away. Kankurou's brain shut down before he had a heart attack.

Temari picked her jaw from the ground. "What was that about!"

Gaara shrugged. " 'Atsui'Akiko Watanabe. Adult film star. With a secret fetish for clowns and puppets."

Kankurou slowly turned his head and regarded Gaara with empty eyes, the shock not completely gone. "Shall I call you master or god?"

The young Sand ninja considered this for a second. "As appealing as those are... let's just call us even..." He paused and pulled Dodongo from his sash. "One more time?"

His older brother grinned. "Gladly."

Dodongo hopped on Gaara's shoulder and hugged his head. "_Gaara-kun is the bestest best brother in the whole world! He is awesome, and smart, and-"_

Kakashi shook his head. "Tsunade's not going to believe this..."


End file.
